Sports stadia come in many different guises. And, yet, we continue to learn that a stadium doesn't need to be spanking brand new to be the bees' knees. Far from it, because the two clearest images of this past sporting week came from venues on either side of the Atlantic - poles apart, in fact - which proved that it is the game itself, and not the environs, that provides the heartbeat.
The mere mention of the Maracana is enough to leave any soccer lover weak-kneed. "The home of the beautiful game," enthused Gary Lineker in opening BBC's coverage of the so-called FIFA Club World Championship on Thursday night. Likewise, Network 2 analyst George Hook wanted to make sure that we knew what to expect for Munster's rugby showdown on Saturday afternoon: ". . . you go to Lord's for cricket, you go to Wembley for soccer, and you go to Thomond Park for rugby," he said.
Nice scene-setting. Truth is, BBC commentator Barry Davies let the cat out of the bag when he told us that approaching the Maracana is like walking up to an ugly building site. And, as the cameras rolled on Thursday night and we watched Lineker and Alan Hansen and Steve Bruce sitting with the gods and no-one behind them as 90 per cent of the stadium remained empty, you were inclined to wonder what all the fuss about this old stadium was truly about.
It was only on Saturday night, when it was packed with hankerchief-waving Brazilians detonating firecrackers at the slightest incentive, that we got the true picture. Sport is all about atmosphere. The more partisan the better, especially in a team context. It's what makes the sporting world go round, what gets the adrenalin flowing.
Manchester United's trip to Brazil seemed doomed from the start. They alienated many English supporters by their decision to withdraw from defending the FA Cup, and alienated many of their Brazilian hosts by refusing to play footie with the shoeless wonderkids on the Copacabana beach. "Is this a journey too far, or a landmark in world football?" wondered Davies before a ball was kicked in anger on Thursday night.
The BBC does not get the chance to screen much live soccer these days and you could almost hear them choke into their microphones when unrated Mexican champions Necaxa grabbed an early goal. "Just what Man United did not want," whined Davies. But worse was to follow when David Beckham got his marching orders before halftime when he forgot he wasn't wearing a sarong and g-string and imitated a kung fu artist in flight.
"If that happened in the Premiership, he's off," proferred Alan Hansen during the half-time break, and not a note of sympathy in his voice. "He seems to be fighting the world," said Bruce. To which Hansen replied: "He has got to learn to walk away." Lineker, who had opened the discussion by wondering about the harshness of the decision, just stayed quiet, aware yet again that he was beaten.
The Beeb were delighted with United's second-half performance. "It's a bit like `us against the world'," opined Hansen in attempting to put his finger on their survival qualities. "They thrive on adversity, these guys never buckle," he added. The mood had changed by halftime in Saturday night's match when the writing was well and truly on the wall and everyone knew that United weren't going to win this particular "world" championship. The analysts had the honour of sharing their top-of-the-world commentary booth with sideline-banned Sir Alex Ferguson for the first half of the match between United and Vasco de Gama.
Now, Bruce and Hansen know a thing or two about defending and you can only imagine what their true feelings were about Gary Neville's efforts in that first half when he gifted the Brazilians two goals with the sort of errors that would have seen him hauled ashore in an under-six five-a-side match or lampooned by his mates in a pub charity match played on ice.
"He's gone, you can say what you like now," incited Lineker to the two former centre halves when Ferguson departed the studio during the break to give his men a tongue-lashing. There wasn't too much to say, really, because no matter how many times the analysts watched the video re-runs, Neville was shown to have all the defensive instincts of a perforated dyke.
"It looks like mission impossible," remarked Lineker as he finished the half-time discussion and transferred back to Davies and Trevor Brooking. "All a bit of an anti-climax," remarked Brooking as the game wound to its inevitable conclusion. "The referee should just blow the final whistle and put Manchester United out of their misery."
No one wanted to be put out of their misery at Thomond Park earlier in the day. In a venue with about a sixth of the capacity of the Maracana, we were given the clearest example you get of people power. "Saracens have been saying all week that they've been preparing for this visit to Thomond Park," said co-commentator Ralph Keyes, "but nothing can prepare you for a visit to Thomond Park, for this type of crowd."
Indeed, the build-up was rather curious because one of the analysts, George Hook, had the temerity to go against a Munster win, a sacrilegious statement from a man who lives on passion. "This is a team of all stars against the men from the parish," observed Hook. "The parish against the world," interjected Tom McGurk. "I don't like saying it, but I think Saracens may upset . . ." His words were drowned out by the Thomond roar as the Munster team charged onto the field.
As half-time approached, even Keyes was concerned that Munster's unbeaten run in the European Cup was about to end. "Saracens have played five matches in 15 days, they have that match fitness (that you need) . . . Munster are slightly out of sync."
Saracens' lead at the break only reinforced Hook's opinion. "Saracens are going to win this match, as I told you at the start," he reminded McGurk, although Keyes wasn't being such a prophet of doom and gloom. "Never underestimate Munster," he warned.
The second half was a wonderful roller-coaster ride of a rugby match which even included a bout of angst that was more like handbags-at-six-paces sort of stuff. "Wonderful stuff, absolutely top-class play," remarked commentator Jim Sherwin sportingly after Saracens nipped in front again with time running out on the home team. "But it's still not over." And it wasn't.
After Keith Wood dived through a forest of bodies to grab an injury-time try, and Ronan O'Gara defied what Sherwin described as the "really unprofessional" play of Saracens who charged the out-half as he prepared to take the conversion, to ensure a Munster win, all hell broke lose. Invasions (peaceful), hugging (of the teddy bear variety) and kissing (purely platonic) occurred on a pitch that has seen many famous wins in its time.
"Fairytale stuff," said Sherwin, and Keyes added that O'Gara could "pack his bags to go to Dublin to join the Irish squad".
Hook had changed his tune. "Memo to the Director General," said the irrepressible one, who went on to tell the power broker to can soap operas and to can light entertainment. Trouble is, you can't have Munster playing every day. Which is a real pity because, as partisan crowds in Brazil and Limerick have shown us, sport's heartbeat comes from the people and it doesn't beat any stronger anywhere than in Thomond Park.