I recently had the privilege of spending an afternoon in the company of Fr Joe Young, the Limerick priest who has done so much for the children in his community by introducing them to sport, be it football, boxing or athletics.

"When you praise a child you bless them," he said in the course of our conversation, referring to the boost to a young player's confidence when their coach gives them a kind word of encouragement. "Mol an oige agus tiocfaidh siad . . ."

Fr Young's words came to mind when I attended some of the games in the Leinster Schoolgirls' Senior Cup (hockey) recently. I couldn't help thinking one or two of the coaches on view could do with spending an afternoon chatting with him. Listening, preferably. Of course, teachers who give up their time to coach school teams, in whatever sport, deserve our praise and admiration but sometimes you have to wonder why some of them bother. If instilling so much fear in a 15- or 16-year-old that they are simply unable to express themselves on the field of play and display their talent is their idea of `coaching' then perhaps they should pack it in now.

When you see a wonderfully gifted winger nervously looking over her shoulder towards the bench, continually drifting infield, away from her wing because she doesn't want to be in earshot of her frenzied coach you can't help but feel a little angry.

And when she and her team-mates, after losing the game, are busy apologising to their furious coach rather than receiving words of consolation and comfort from her, your blood tends to bubble just a bit.

Yes players at every level have to learn some degree of discipline and it should be demanded of them that they give their best for the team - and dropped if they don't - but surely at school level they should at least be permitted to enjoy their sport and not experience it as an ordeal.

There's no harm in winning either - let's be honest we're all a little weary of moral victories - but if 11 kids run themselves into the ground during a match but are beaten by a better team in the end, should they really be treated like war criminals by someone who's 20, 30, 40 years their elder and really should know better?

Parents are often the worst offenders in this department. Some rugby fathers take the biscuit. You know the type - wasn't good enough to make the school firsts himself but, by God, Johnny is going to live out his dream of Leinster Senior Cup glory. And if he doesn't there'll be no holiday in San Moritz this year.

Then there are the Phoenix Park fathers, the ones who dream of their boys rivalling Alan Shearer in the Premiership salary stakes. Except some of their boys are only eight and nine and should be given a ball and a yard of grass to imitate their heroes instead of being lectured about putting their opponents under pressure.

Imagine if a nine-year-old George Best had his free spirit reined in and was constantly berated for "not tracking back". He would have ended up as a full back in the Justin Edinburgh mould. Actually no, he wouldn't - he would have given up football altogether and become a rock star. Or some profession where that free spirit could have run wild. What a loss that would have been. I'll be surprised if I see that hockey winger again in future seasons. She probably has enough talent to play for a senior club and maybe even her country in the long run, but the expression on her face at the end of that match suggested she had her fill of sport. And that's sad.

Rachel Assaf will probably carry on playing, though. A year ago the Mount Anville winger was inconsolable after her team lost the Leinster Senior Cup final to Wesley College. It was a marvellous game between two teams coached by women - Maeve McCarthy (Mount Anville) and Louise Tallon (Wesley College) - who give their players the freedom to enjoy themselves and display the talents they possess. They want to win, too, make no mistake about it, and if either coach spotted one of their players admiring the scenery while their team-mates were in need of their assistance, they'd let them know about it. But they don't fill their players with fear, they simply encourage them to do their best. And for both coaches that's enough.

When Mount Anville lost last year's final you wondered if they'd ever recover, so heartbroken were their players by the defeat. But as soon as the final hooter sounded McCarthy was at their side, hugging and consoling them and telling them how wonderful they had been. And right behind her was Tallon who told them the very same things. Ten days ago, almost exactly the same Mount Anville team won the Leinster Senior Cup for their school for the first time in 25 years, beating Wesley College. "I never had a feeling like this before," said Rachel Assaf. "It's the best ever. This is all we've ever wanted and we've got it today. It's just brilliant."

When you praise a child you bless them, as Fr Joe would say.