TV VIEW'AN ABSOLOOO giveaway, a travesty . . . I just cannae believe it," said Alex Ferguson, his face a slightly deeper shade of puce when he had a word with Sky Sports after yesterday's game, during which his lads had a sticky time of it against the Toffees.

You had to feel sorry for the fella. Ah no, seriously, you did. A bit like Bernie Ecclestone all week, he was asked to defend the indefensible. However, unlike Bernie, he didn’t even try, instead jabbing a verbal forefinger in the chests of his rearguard, wondering why they’d failed to defend the defensible.

Back in the studio, Manchester City old boy Niall Quinn sported a grin almost as wide as the points gap that existed between United and his former club in or around a wet week ago. It was a brave beam too, considering Gary Neville was sitting beside him.

“As neutrals,” said Quinn, with a commendably straight face, “we should certainly cherish it” – referring to the revived title race – at which point Neville exited the studio.

He wasn’t, it should be stressed, escorted out by security. He just had to take up position in Sky’s commentary box for the Wolves v City game. Once he’d left, Quinn began dancing on the studio coffee table wearing nothing more than his disco pants. No, not true, but you knew he wanted to.

So, it’s game on. Next Monday night’s ding-dong between the contenders was having the look of a dead rubber. Now, not even Sky could over-hype it. From Bangalore to Ballinspittle they’ll be tuning in, and it’s hard to avoid the premonition that Carlos Tevez will have a decisive role – as unlikely a possibility when he was golfing back in Argentina as, say, a statue doing mad things like moving.

A City comeback, not too long ago, was as unthinkable as, say, two ‘Barthalona’ defeats in four days.

“I think they’ll kill Chelsea,” Eamon Dunphy had declared ahead of the first leg of that Champions League semi-final, a murderous forecast that warmed the cockles of our total footballing hearts.

And then Didier Drogba, during the nanosecond that he stayed on his feet during the encounter, broke our total footballing hearts.

Come full-time, Bill O’Herlihy wasn’t slow in reminding Dunphy that his prediction had been liquidated, suggesting that the result might even clinch Roberto Di Matteo the Chelsea job.

“If Di Matteo can get a team with John Obi Mikel and Raul Meireles to the Champions League final, then he deserves the Nobel Prize,” said Dunphy. For literature. You’d imagine, though, that the gong for chemistry would be more apt?

It was at this point, though, that Liverpudlians were entitled to intervene and say: “Eamon? Champions League winners? Two words: Djimi and Traoré.”

Fair point. It takes all sorts, so John Obi and Raul could yet achieve what Robin van Persie will quite possibly never manage in his career, unless he bids adieu to Arsene: win the Champions League. Life’s just weird; football odder still.

So odd, in fact, that Stephen Ireland could yet turn out for the Republic in Euro 2012. Okay, maybe not.

“I think it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be involved,” he told Football Focus, but you half sensed a ‘but’. Not that he’s received any encouragement, Ireland revealing that there have been no begging calls from Giovanni Trapattoni of late, and you have to reckon if he holds his breath he’ll expire before the tournament kicks off.

But, you know, for all his faults, it’s hard not to like the fella. He has a good heart, although his tattoos remain unforgivable – largely because he’ll be 74 one day, and his six pack will turn into a wobble, at which point Christ on the crucifix will look more like a Kiss-Me-Quick postcard from Blackpool featuring a big-bellied beach bum from Bolton.

Or Bahrain.

“I am happy once we start testing tomorrow because then we can start worrying about the stuff that really matters – like tyre temperatures,” said Sebastian Vettel when asked for a word or two about the trickiness of Formula One staging a Grand Prix in a spot where pro-democracy protesters were being murdered, tortured and arrested.

Actually, when you think about it, Bahrain and Formula One, and all who sail in its ship, are a perfect match, Bahrain possibly the more principled of the pair.

“It’s good for the sport,” said F1 boss Jean Todt when the BBC’s Jake Humphrey asked him about the wisdom of the circus visiting Bahrain.

“The sport has to be healing for any kind of problems in the world,” he said, and at that point it was hard to distinguish him from Mahatma Gandhi.

“The political thing is going in so many countries, these things happen,” said Bernie, before setting off to express solidarity with the pro-democracy folk. Ah, the old ones, eh?