"Daveed, would you like to present Lou Bega with the award for winner of the top single of 1999 ("a little bit of Monica", etc) at the Cannes celebrity gala, live on French television?" said the letter. "Bien sur," said Daveed. Award time. Daveed? DAVEED? Yoo hoo? Blushes all 'round. Spurs winger in loo (and seriously out of position) when Lou's big moment arrived. "Why doesn't that surprise me?" we can hear George Graham mutter.