Getting shirty: logos tell the tale

SEPTEMBER ROAD: WHEN WE heard the captain of the local under-10 team collect the Division Three shield at the weekend and begin…

SEPTEMBER ROAD:WHEN WE heard the captain of the local under-10 team collect the Division Three shield at the weekend and begin her speech with, "First, I'd like to thank our sponsor", we realised how every GAA shirt now has some brand name plastered on the front of it.

But they are rarely really suited to the team they are sponsoring. Not like, say, Specsavers sponsoring referees.

So we got to thinking of each county, their summer performances and the sponsors which would suit them, giving particular attention to the slogans each brand name is using, or has used in the past. This is what we came up with.

Clare

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Proposed Sponsor – Wendy’s.

Their slogan – “Where’s the Beef?”

Cork

Proposed Sponsor – Renault Clio.

Their slogan – “Size matters.”

Limerick

Proposed Sponsor – Hellmann’s Mayonnaise.

Their slogan – “Bring out the best.”

Waterford

Proposed Sponsor – Virginia Slims cigarettes.

Their slogan – “You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby.”

Tipperary

Proposed Sponsor – Walls Viennetta ice cream.

Their slogan – “Behold the Fountain of Youth.”

Kerry

Proposed Sponsor – Miller Lite.

Their slogan – “Tastes great, less filling.”

Roscommon

Proposed Sponsor – Peter Paul Almond Joy Peter Paul Mounds.

Their slogan – “Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.”

Sligo

Proposed Sponsor – Always sanitary towels.

Their slogan – “Have a happy period.”

Mayo

Proposed Sponsor – Raymond Weil watches.

Their slogan – “Time to dream.”

Galway

Proposed Sponsor – Wonderbra.

Their slogan: “Your not-so-secret weapon.”

Leitrim

Proposed Sponsor – John Player’s & Sons.

Their slogan – “Player’s Please.”

Antrim

Proposed Sponsor – Buick Riviera.

Their slogan – “You’re due. Definitely due.”

Down

Proposed Sponsor – Audi Quattro.

Their slogan – “It’s a miracle, but we made it.”

Donegal

Proposed Sponsor – Rice Krispies

Their slogan – “Snap, Crackle and Pop.”

Monaghan

Proposed Sponsor – Irish Rail.

Their slogan – “We’re not there yet, but we’re getting there.”

Cavan

Proposed Sponsor – Morton Salt

Their slogan – “When it Rains, it Pours”

Fermanagh

Proposed Sponsor – Toyota Prius hybrid

Their slogan – “Mean but green.”

Derry

Proposed Sponsor – Shreddies

Slogan – “Keep hunger locked up til lunch.”

Tyrone

Proposed Sponsor – Trojan.

Their slogan – “Protection you trust.”

Armagh

Proposed Sponsor – Kit Kat.

Their slogan – “Have a Break.”

Kilkenny

Proposed Sponsor – BBC Radio 6 Music.

Their slogan – “We play what we like and nothing else.”

Carlow

Proposed Sponsor – Swan Vestas matches.

Their slogan – “Use matches sparingly.”

Kildare

Proposed Sponsor – Pearl Drops (Toothpaste).

Their slogan – “See the Whiteness. Feel the Shine.”

Meath

Proposed Sponsor – Royale toilet paper

Their slogan – “A Stronger Feeling of Softness.”

Wicklow

Proposed Sponsor – Lee Jeans

Their slogan – “Behind the Scenes Since 1889.”

Laois

Proposed Sponsor – Costcutter

Their slogan – “Always more to offer.”

Offaly

Proposed Sponsor – Aquafina bottled water.

Their slogan – “So pure, we promise nothing.”

Wexford

Proposed Sponsor – Tag Heuer watches.

Their slogan – “Don’t crack under pressure.”

Dublin

Proposed Sponsor – Timex Corporation.

Their slogan – “It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.”

Longford

Proposed Sponsor – Avis rental cars.

Their slogan – “We try harder.”

Westmeath

Proposed Sponsor – EA Games.

Their slogan – “Challenge Everything.”

Louth

Proposed Sponsor – Range Rover.

Their slogan – “It’s how the smooth take the rough.”

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Damian Cullen

Damian Cullen

Damian Cullen is Health & Family Editor of The Irish Times