Planet Football: According to uefa.com Osasuna supporters had a rather unfortunate experience when they travelled for their recent game away to Cadiz.

Assuming it was the weekend of the city's carnival they arrived "dressed up as female flamenco dancers", only to discover the carnival was, in fact, a week later. Osasuna won 3-1, despite their supporters remaining awfully quiet on the terraces.

Quotes of the week

"I've won cup games on numerous occasions when I've looked back and wondered how we've won, but we were undone by our Achilles' heel which has been stabbing us in the back all season."

- David O'Leary on Aston Villa's extraordinarily flexible weak point.

"I wouldn't have said it was so great at 10 o'clock this morning. The first I knew of him being back was finding him on top of me, kissing me in the bed. Not pleasant, not pleasant at all."

- Damien Duff on his first (disturbing) encounter with Mick Byrne last week.

"They enjoyed it. They were soaked with champagne. Welcome to England!"

- Alex Ferguson on the Glazer brothers' first visit to the United dressing room, after the League Cup final . . . in Cardiff, eh, Wales.

"Leeds is the only city outside of Exeter that only had one senior football club, which I found amazing."

- Leeds chairman Ken Bates in an interview with the Guardian, who noted that he'd forgotten "Newcastle, Leicester, Southampton, Portsmouth and Bradford, among numerous others".

"Mamma Mia, we are bad!"

- German newspaper Bild quotes Abba to describe Germany's trip to Florence where they, eh, met their Waterloo (ie a 4-1 defeat by Italy).

Is Kuranyi the real thing?

It's fair to say that Schalke 04 striker Kevin Kuranyi is getting mixed messages these days over whether or not he's likely to make the German squad for the World Cup finals. A spokeswoman for Coca Cola in Berlin announced last week that the company knew of 16 definite inclusions in Jürgen Klinsmann's squad and will be putting their faces on its cans from the end of the month.

"We compiled a list of players we expected to be in the national squad and presented it to Oliver Bierhoff. He said 'this is correct', these 16 will definitely be part of the World Cup squad," said Claudia Fasse. Bierhoff, Klinsmann's assistant, has, incidentally, an advertising contract with Coca-Cola, so you'd half imagine he'd be giving them reliable information.

Kuranyi was included in the 16, so must have been chuffed. Until he was dropped by Klinsmann for the friendlies against Italy and the United States. So, who's in charge? As one blogger put it on the issue, "it might come as a bit of a relief to fans of Germany that Klinsmann isn't in charge of selecting your players for the World Cup. Coca-Cola is."

Klinsmann gets the call

Speaking of Klinsmann. You might have noticed they were none too pleased in Germany after that mauling by Italy in last week's friendly. So much so some German politicians have called for the coach to be "summoned before a parliamentary committee to explain his training methods before the World Cup".

"It would be good if Herr Klinsmann would come before the sport committee and explain what his concept is and how Germany can win the World Cup," said Christian Democrat Norbert Barthle. "The match against Italy was gruesome and we wonder that can be fixed by the summer. The federal government is the biggest sponsor of the World Cup. In light of that, I'd like to get a few answers from him."

The mind is boggling here. Can you imagine Steve Staunton and Bobby Robson being summoned to appear before a Dáil committee, chaired, perhaps, by Jackie Healy-Rae, to explain, say, a 0-0 draw with San Marino?

More quotes of the week

"My mistake is similar to a parent who wants to give his kid only the best - you spoil them"

- Florentino Perez, on his resignation as president of Real Madrid, bids a less than fond farewell to his Galacticos.

"Someone's put the number 12 on his back while they were looking in the mirror."

- Graeme Le Saux with a less than convincing explanation for why Peter Crouch wore 12 on his back and 21 on his front against Uruguay.

"It's annoying such a good player has made bad choices for his career."

- Marco van Basten after rewarding Jan Kromkamp for choosing to move to Liverpool by dropping him from the Dutch squad.

"I'm not a big lover of 4-4-2, I prefer 4-4-3."

- Fulham manager Chris Coleman, who could have done with 12 players against Arsenal on Saturday.

Iran nailed on for semis

As the 22nd-ranked team in the world, we wouldn't have thought there'd be enormously high expectations of Iran excelling at this summer's World Cup, but the country's president hasn't exactly been keeping the pressure off the boys.

Visiting the team's training camp last week President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, said: "You can be the surprise team in 2006 World Cup and make it to the second round. We are expecting our team to be among the world's best four teams in the World Cup 2010.

"It is not out of reach. We must conquer the summits and hoist Iran's flag on the top, since the prayers of 70 million Iranians are with you. The West is against Iran's glory and do not want the Iranian youth to be glorious in any field. But if our youth achieve something in the World Cup, in the energy sector, in science and in art, two thirds of the world will be happy."

So, no pressure lads. Ahmadinejad, incidentally, scored a penalty goal against goalkeeper Ebrahim Mirzapour during his visit. Mirzapour, apparently, dived the wrong way. Well, wouldn't you?

Messi not legless in Switzerland

Standing up for his Argentinian team-mate Lionel Messi last week Chelsea's Hernan Crespo confirmed that the Barcelona player was, in fact, black and blue after his evening at Stamford Bridge. "What is undeniable is I saw Lionel's legs in Switzerland and bruises were still there," he said. Were we alone in forgetting that Messi was in Basle for Argentina's friendly against Croatia and left wondering quite what his legs were doing in Switzerland, and not Croatia?