When Valencia's Jocelyn Angloma attempted to score from a narrow angle, from outside the box, against Manchester United on Wednesday night ITV's Big Ron Atkinson came over all nostalgic. "Who can forget the time when he scored for Brazil from a similar angle against Big Pat Jennings in the 1986 World Cup," he sighed.

Hmm. 1, Angloma is French; 2, he would have been 16 at the time; 3, Josimar (or `Josie Maher', as Jimmy Magee used to call him) scored for Brazil from a similar angle against Big Pat Jennings in the 1986 World Cup.

Does this mean Big Ron doesn't know his Jocelyns from his Josies?