TV VIEW:RTÉ opened up yesterday with a snippet from President Obama, speaking over slow motion clips of the rugby lads in action, urging Ireland to "overcome the cynics and naysayers and those who say you can't". But if that was designed to make George Hook look a little sheepish, it didn't work.

Is féidir linn, George? “No we bloody can’t,” was the gist of his reply.

But whatever about the World Cup campaign as a whole, the opening game against the United States would, surely, be hazard-free? Well, George had good news on that front, telling us Eddie O’Sullivan had made “a monumental mistake in the selection of the team”, a criticism that brought us for a stroll down memory lane, a “déjà vu all over again” kind of feeling.

Eddie, of course, is now in the enemy camp, although sometimes Declan Kidney must feel that’s where he’s located too. Still, the current coach sounded chirpy enough when he had a pre-match chat with Hugh Cahill, although that could have been the dawn chorus outside the living room window.

There then followed a brief discussion on the New Zealand weather, during which Brent Pope’s expertise was called upon. “Is it much different to our rain?” Tom McGurk asked.

“Yeah, rain in New Zealand is different, it’s not wet,” said Brent.

“Dry rain?” asked Conor O’Shea. “Yes,” said Brent. Sleep deprivation is a curse.

Despite their – how would you put it? – “concerns” about the Irish team and its coach, the panel was still confident the Americans would be so useless an easy enough victory would be secured.

They even reckoned Russia would beat them. And they wouldn’t entertain Tom’s worry that because the opponents were actually American footballers, rather than proper rugby players, “we may get some unusual tackles”.

George: “The game will be over after 20 minutes.” Brent: “You don’t know that.” George: “This match is over now. Before it even starts.” Conor: “Let’s go home then.” They stayed where they were, though, and, as requested, gave Tom their predictions.

Conor: “A landslide victory.” Brent: “First half tough enough, the second half they’ll pull away.” George: “He doesn’t even bother asking me.” All: “You said it’s over!” Brent: “George, you’re like one of those nodding dogs.”

So, over we went to New Plymouth, the place bulging with leprechauns and inflatable green, white and gold hammers. A home away from home.

We get everywhere.

The first half. Not hugely encouraging, it has to be said. “Ireland look asleep,” suggested Donal Lenihan, as did most of the viewing audience, you suspected – but they had an excuse, they were up with the birds.

Thirty-nine minutes gone and still only 3-0. Worrisome. But then Tommy Bowe struck and we were laughing. Weren’t we? Conor: “Underwhelmed.” Brent: “Very disappointing.” George: “Dreadful! A shambles!” Okay, not so upbeat, then, the panel’s even worser than worst fears realised.

But Tom wondered if it was the ball? Or the weather, maybe? You know, that dry New Zealand rain.

“Why are you talking about the ball all the time and the conditions?” asked George. “Let’s not start talking about the rain! It doesn’t rain in California! So the one team that should be struggling here is the Americans!”

And despite noting the Americans had Arnold Schwarzenegger in their pack, George suggested they couldn’t terminate a butterfly – and that “the dogs in the street knew that Shawn Pittman couldn’t knock the skin off a custard”.

“They can’t scrum, they can’t line-out, they can’t maul, they can’t restart and they can’t kick. And it takes us 39 minutes to score a try?!”

The second half was a bit better, but not too much. Certainly not enough of an improvement to have the panel Olé Olé-ing.

“Well, it would be very easy for me to be apoplectic,” said George, suggesting he was going to keep it all in perspective. “And I’m not. I am deeply saddened. This is my country. This is my national team. This is, you have to say, a very, very sad day for Irish rugby.”

Brent and Conor weren’t much cheerier, Conor actually looking suspiciously like he might have drifted off during the second half.

And neither could bring themselves to disagree when George suggested that “this team couldn’t pick a safe with the key”.

The gist, then, was that this was France 2007 all over again, when “Eddie made a horlicks of it’, as George put it.

Australia next Saturday? Tom was nearly afraid to ask. Although Brent reassured us that because Ireland would have nothing much expected of them, it could be a lot less worse than the nation fears. Something like that, anyway.

We’ll see. But you wouldn’t bet on George showing up wearing an “Is féidir linn” baseball cap.