UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE SEMI-FINALS, SECOND LEGS:PARK JI-SUNG? Johnny Giles always pronounces the South Korean's name like it's a question, which in many ways it is. An imponderable one too. On bench duty for Manchester United last night: Giggs, Scholes, Tevez and the soon-to-wake Bulgarian sleeping giant, Berbatov. In the starting line-up? Ji-Sung Park?
Gilesie appreciates the Duracell bunny qualities of the little fella, but, no more than ourselves, is inclined to wiggle an intrigued and slightly mystified eyebrow when he spots his name on the team-sheet for a monster big game. “I’m sorry Bill, I just don’t get it,” he once declared when Park?, yet again, made United’s first 11 and several legends of the game didn’t.
And besides, when presented with goalscoring opportunities Park? shows much the same levels of non-composure as displayed by the customers of that shop in Ballinrobe when the bull rampaged through the frozen foods section. His record of achievement might be stupendous, but you have to wonder about Alex Ferguson’s judgment these days.
“Paaaaaaaaaaaark,” said George Hamilton, when our man took the bull by the horns and scored in the eighth minute.
So, as we were saying, who could ever be foolish enough to question Ferguson?
And that was the lesson we took from last night. If Ferguson chooses to play Edwin Van der Sar in the hole behind his front two of Wes Brown and Clayton Blackmore against Chelsea/Barcelona in Rome we vow to say: Inspired!
Which you probably can’t say about Manuel Almunia’s goalkeeping.
“I couldn’t but help think of Ricky Hatton, it’s just been bang bang,” said Jim Beglin, as United bang banged their way to a 2-0 lead.
As luck would have it one of ITV’s guests for the evening was former Arsenal goalkeeper Jens Lehmann.
Lest you have a life and were unaware of the nature of the relationship between Jens and Manuel when they were team-mates at Arsenal, here’s what Manuel had to say about it: “My relationship with Lehmann is the same as ever – we dont really have one.”
So, after Manuel avoided saving Ronaldo’s free-kick Steve Rider asked Jens for his opinion. Western Europe held its breath.
“These balls nowadays are manufactured in ze way that they are speeding up,” he said, sympathetically, but with a hint of a grin that said “tee hee”.
“But Jens,” protested Andy Townsend, “I fink I could have leapt over there a bit sharper.” Jens smiled. A bit wickedly.
Back on RTÉ Graeme Souness was equally generous to the Spanish man who wants to play for England. “As a Scotsman I hope he gets his passport and plays for England for many years,” he said, which was nice.
The second half was sort of more of the same, lots of shots of Arsene Wenger attempting to rip his head off in frustration; lots of shots of Ferguson chewing his gum in a slightly frenzied and marginally triumphalist manner.
United eased up, apart from scoring the goal of the century, Darren Fletcher taking pity on the Londoners by taking a red card and giving them a penalty.
Full-time. Who’s to know what had gone on in Montrose during the second half, perhaps there had been some aggro over the the choice of biscuits for their tea-break. Eamon Dunphy, you’d imagine, is a Custard Creams kind of guy, Gilesie a Mikado man, and Souness one for the digestives. But it was all a bit fractious.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eamon suggested to Graeme when they were having a bit of a heated debate about Wenger’s transfer policy.
“Where did you manage,” Graeme asked Eamon.
We almost choked on our Marietta, even after dunking it in our Horlicks. We sensed trouble. Of the big kind. A brawl, even.
“I didn’t manage anywhere, I managed to stay alive for 63 and a half years, baby,” said Eamon.
Bill O’Herlihy stepped in and called for an ad break. Spoilsport.
When we returned we anticipated the sight of Eamon being removed from the studio on several stretchers, but no, he was still sitting there in one piece, which suggested to us that Graeme has mellowed with age.
Time to ease the tension. Ferguson. He was being nice about Arsenal, as if they weren’t suffering enough pain. Park? “He’s one of the most underrated players at our club,” he said. Absoloooly, as Ferguson might put it himself. And Ferguson, after all, has managed to win trophies for 20 odd years, baby. No more doubts. Park? Your only man.
