“Fail! Fail! Fail!”
Poor Mary Lou McDonald, perpetually disappointed by abysmal Government decisions yet still forced into the Dáil chamber, week after soul-destroying week, to issue further damning assessments of its most senior politicians and their work.
Will she ever see any signs of improvement?
About as likely as the Sinn Féin leader opening up to Winston Churchtown to assist him with a second volume of his Mary Lou biography.
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It must get very tiring, having to mark everyone down. But the Dublin Central TD never gives up hope, no matter how many times she barks an encouraging “must try harder” only for the Taoiseach and his unteachable Ministers to disappoint yet again.
Mary Lou had three questions in Tuesday’s truncated edition of Lambast the Leader, shortened because the Taoiseach was away in Egypt saving the planet. An experienced understudy was rushed into action.
One might have expected Near-Taoiseach Leo Varadkar to arrive for the main event, but Micheál Martin’s second in command wasn’t around either. Fortunately, Leo was not over in Egypt with him, doing a Boris Johnson and trying to upstage his successor. No need for that because he knows he will be rotating into the big job again next month.
Unfortunately, this meant Michael Healy-Rae could not cause ructions by accusing the Near-Taoiseach of being “away with the Pharaohs”, which would have been a triumph.
The Sinn Féin leader, wearing a green jacket, chose the evergreen topic of housing for openers before wrapping herself in the green flag and finally jumping off the Dáil fence with a contribution on climate change. Then she finished up by taking a pop at the Government for the mouldy state of the health service.
Her three closing words at the end of her first question summed up not only her conclusion on the Coalition’s attempts to control the housing crisis, but also her opinion of its success in reaching climate change targets and handling of health policy.
“Fail! Fail! Fail!”
Which was a surprise.
It would save an awful lot of Dáil time if Mary Lou was allowed give a brief description to the House of the topic she wishes to address followed by a stentorian “Fail!” and a withering glare at whatever Leaders’ Questions victim is across the floor.
In Tuesday’s case, it was the devil-may-care Minister for Expenditure and Public Reform, Michael McGrath, who is mad as a box of fossilised frogs. He is not a man easily riz, to put it mildly.
Mary Lou thundered at him over housing: young mothers and fathers and their children squeezed into the box rooms of their parents’ homes, families languishing on the housing lists, young people emigrating because they can’t afford to put a roof over their heads.
“The Government is incapable of bringing the required urgency to deliver the homes that are needed,” she scolded, adding that the Government is “sitting on” €2 billion in unspent money earmarked for housing while the crisis continues.
Darragh O’Brien, the Minister for Housing, whispered urgently to his colleague.
Michael responded, quietly. “This Government has acknowledged from the very beginning the scale of the challenge we face as a country in housing and the provision of accommodation for our people, whether it is private housing, public housing, cost rental or affordable purchase. We have prioritised investment in housing since coming into office in the summer of 2020. That is delivering results…”
More has to be done. Challenge still immense. Will rise to it. And so on.
[ Miriam Lord: Mary Lou calls for change – just the 18 timesOpens in new window ]
Michael started tossing out figures for people housed and builds completed or in the pipeline. Darragh nodded enthusiastically and wobbled his jowls in solidarity.
“This is the right thing to do,” murmured the stand-in, before going on the attack without raising his voice.
“Sinn Féin deputies are welcoming new developments as they are being opened throughout the country, which they are welcome to do, in addition to turning up at the launches of the Housing for All schemes all over Ireland,” he pointed out, despite their leader’s complaints.
Mary Lou’s troops howled in indignation.
“Photograph! Photograph!” reposted Heather Humphreys, the Minister for Social Protection, who has seen her fair share of smiling Sinn Féin politicians posing beside new houses in her Monaghan constituency.
The Minister talked about affordable homes and the Land Development Agency and Darragh O’Brien’s good work and the change to the Central Bank’s “macroprudential rules”.
Darragh rattled his jowls in support.
As for that €2 billion capital underspend he is supposed to be sitting on?
Please, Michael. No need to explain.
“As the deputy knows, it is always the case that the final quarter of the year is the period in which there is the largest delivery. That is when schemes get closed out, accounts get done and drawdown of payments happens. There will be no such underspend in housing capital this year. Any underspend, as the deputy knows, is subject to a carry-forward provision whereby it can be carried forward, subject to an overall rule in respect of 10 per cent of the ceiling for that vote into the following year.”
Thanks for that.
“The truth” according to the ever-so-measured McGrath, is that Sinn Féin opposed all the Government schemes now helping people buy homes and it opposed the initiatives brought in by the Minister for Housing.
It seems the party has calculated that it is politically advantageous to them to keep the housing crisis going.
Darragh nodded vigorously, like the dog in Churchill Insurance advert.
A weary, disbelieving voice rose from the Sinn Féin ranks.
“Get outta here!”
No, really.
“On this side of the House we are focused on doing everything we possibly can to resolve it,” said the Minister.
“That side of the House created it!” harrumphed Pearse Doherty.
It was a relief when Ivana Bacik’s turn came.
“I’m glad to see the Taoiseach is not here today,” the Labour leader informed McGrath, who must have been chuffed.
Charming.
But she quickly elaborated. She was glad because it was very important to have Micheál representing Ireland at the Cop27 in Egypt. “It is vital that we see really strong leadership at national and international level on tackling the climate catastrophe.”
Not sure Mary Lou would agree. Ireland has missed all its climate emissions targets so far, she said, calling for urgency, common sense and action from the Government on the climate crisis.
After their party’s special session on the issue at the ardfheis and Mary Lou’s Dáil pronouncements, it looks like the message and tone so evident at the weekend is gathering pace.
Eco (not Provo) warriors now.
