A friend of mine was in search of a creche for her little boy. My friend is caring but unsentimental, a combination that stood her in good stead during years of voluntary work in Romanian orphanages.
That mix of tenderness and emotional toughness helped her work with children dying of Aids that they had contracted through Caeuscescu's mad policy of blood transfusions to "strengthen" orphans. Yet she was reduced to tears by one Irish creche. It reminded her of places in Romania. There were 12 little children in one room, ranging from very small babies to ones just beginning to crawl.
There was one childcare worker. Children were wailing helplessly, and there was no one there to pick them up and comfort them. In another room, two workers were sitting at the top of the room chatting to each other, oblivious to the children sitting at the back of the room, who had no toys, and no stimulation, and who had obviously given up on getting any adult attention.
When the workers saw her, they immediately stopped chatting and started interacting with a kind of false heartiness with the children. She left the place and reported it to the Health Board. She has no idea what action, if any, was taken. During her time in Romania she saw a steady improvement in conditions for children. She could not believe that her own country, at the peak of prosperity, could treat children so callously.
The HSE reports on childcare facilities this week show a crisis in some childcare facilities. Problems ranged from the relatively minor, to very serious breaches of health and safety. Some places were dirty, or dangerous.
Others had no facilities for outdoor play, or had inadequate numbers of workers. Some places served a steady diet of junk food, while others had no lists of people authorised to collect children, or no staff records.
There is another side to this story, and it is one that receives little publicity. Many creches are clean, well-run, orderly and secure places where children receive genuine care. They suffer from the barrage of bad publicity that reports such as this generate. The focus is always on the failings of creches, but nursery owners who run excellent facilities have other stories to tell, that do not always reflect well on parents. For example, one hard-working childcare provider told me of a small baby that was running a very high temperature, and becoming increasingly lethargic.
The creche contacted the mother, who told them that she could not possibly leave work, and demanded that they contact her husband. In his turn, the husband refused to come, and asked why the creche had not contacted his wife.
Eventually, after numerous telephone calls, the mother arrived in a temper, and swept the baby off to the doctor, only to return an hour and a half later with a very sick baby and some prescribed medication. She was stunned to be told that the baby needed to go home, and that the creche could not take responsibility.
Is this the result of extreme stress, and workplaces that pay lip-service to family-friendly policies, but actually penalise workers who take time out for children?
Or is it the result of seriously skewed parental priorities? In the same creche, which opens at 7.30, they are barraged with requests both to open earlier and to keep the children later. They are also often instructed not to allow children to have a nap, because the children allegedly will not sleep at night.
Picture trying to keep a child awake all day who has left home at seven and will not see it again for 12 hours. Perhaps parents do not want to face the fact, as I had to myself, that a child who does not see a parent during the day will often not sleep well, in an effort to make up for lost time.
Most of the debate about childcare focuses on workplace priorities. When are we going to have a genuinely family-centred childcare policy? Today Dublin City Council is holding a conference, called "Childcare - we care". The aim is to develop a child-centred childcare policy, an initiative spearheaded by Lord Mayor Cllr Catherine Byrne. Certainly, a child-centred policy would be a major improvement on a market-centred policy, where children seem to be regarded as an unfortunate obstacle to adult participation in the paid workforce.
More accurately, children are seen as an obstacle to women's participation in the paid workforce.
You never hear men being asked how they are going to reconcile family and work responsibilities. It is deeply ironic that we have never known more about what children require in order to grow and thrive, and yet at the same time we are conducting this vast social experiment in group childcare with no certainty about outcomes.
While some psychologists are bullishly confident that it does not matter where children are taken care of if the bond between mother and child is good, other experts are less than convinced. Steve Biddulph, whose books have sold four million copies, and who has studied child development for 25 years, recently added his voice to those calling for no institutional childcare under three.
As for bonding, are we to administer a test to those seeking a group childcare place, to ensure that the bond is secure, and deny places where the child seems insecurely attached? And what does it do to a parent-child bond to be separated for all the daylight hours? What would a family-centred childcare policy look like?
Well, it would not penalise families who chose to have one parent work at home. It would prioritise care by parents, by other members of the extended family or members of the local community. Flexible working practices would become the norm, and childcare workers would get decent wages that would help to end high staff turnover. Childcare facilities would not be expected to be cheap. Positive publicity would be given to nurseries and creches that are examples of best practice. Anyone minding other people's children would have to demonstrate a certain minimum knowledge and skill, whether acquired through formal training or experience. Inspections are needed, certainly, but they will only continue to be a source of horror stories until we make supporting family life a priority.
bobrien@irish-times.ie