Sullen and silent, the piqued PDs mustered in a tight little group, separated from their Government partners by a sea of empty seats. Ominously, as a dramatic day of saying nothing progressed, their humour didn't improve outside the House.
Bertie was at his persuasive best yesterday. Hands in pockets, relaxed, anxious to be of assistance. Here's a man who has nothing to hide, shaking his head and wondering what more he has to do to stop the tide of innuendo blighting his life.
This was his most convincing Dáil performance since the Manchester Money and Payments from Pals saga began. But it may have come too late for the Coalition. Just when it seemed the Taoiseach had pulled clear of controversy, he was forced to return and account for another twist in an increasingly strange tale.
Fianna Fáil's line was that their leader took the decision to make a rare Thursday appearance because he wanted to put an end to the sniping about his financial affairs. Overnight reports that he bought his current home from Michael Wall, the Irish-born businessman who was at the famous Manchester function where Bertie was surprised with the proceeds from a generous whip-around, had raised new questions.
Why didn't he disclose this to the Dáil? Why hadn't he told his PD partners? Away from the spin, the reason for the Taoiseach's trip to the Chamber was very different. Leinster House was awash with rumours that PD leader Michael McDowell exploded when he heard about the Wall link. Under no circumstances would he go into the Dáil for the second week in a row to take the flak for something he knew nothing about.
When the House met, the Tánaiste was nowhere to be seen, and nobody knew where to find him. In fact, the normally high-profile McDowell went missing for the day. It was rumoured he was chained to a stout chair leg in PD headquarters, with advisers throwing buckets of iced water over him in an effort to cool him down.
Not that Bertie Ahern was giving any indications there was trouble in paradise. Over the last two weeks, a determinedly even-tempered and reasonable Bertie has shown nerves of steel under the most incredible pressure. He gave out all the right signals yesterday. This latest inconvenience was merely an irritation that had to be soothed before his midday trip to Dublin Castle, where he would become a Doctor of Laws - an honorary degree which has been conferred on all previous taoisigh by the NUI, with the exception of Eamon de Valera.
After the Opposition thundered about full accountability and house sales, Bertie put on his patient face. Then, sighing heavily, he heaved himself wearily to his feet and answered. Again.
Bought the house at full market value. Rented it first, also at the going rate. Took out an Irish Permanent loan to finance the sale, paid the deposit out of his "building society deposit book" and the stamp duty and taxes came from his current account. Clearly, he moved on in some style from the days when, as minister for finance, he scraped along with no bank accounts at all.
As for the Wall connection, he had deemed this of no relevance in the ongoing quest for information about the people who attended the Manchester Money function.
Michael, a long-time Fianna Fáil supporter, was there as the "mini-bus" driver, explained Bertie, elevating the Mayo-born racehorse owner to the mundane heights of the Taoiseach's other pal, Paddy the Plasterer. In classic Ahern logic, he hadn't really been at the event because "he didn't eat the dinner".
A pained Taoiseach wondered when all the questions would stop. "All's I can do is answer them." He even submitted the invoices for work on his house to the tribunal. "I'll wake up one of these mornings to see them in the paper too," he whimpered.
By the time he finished, having offered to throw open his files for all to see, we were nearly crying for him ourselves.
But still no sign of the Disappeared Democrats - Tánaiste McDowell and former tánaiste Harney. Ms Harney was spotted earlier, at a conference called "Planning for Disaster." The remaining six members of the parliamentary party sat in splendid isolation, enjoying a group huff, complete with eye-rolling and sulky pouts. Mae Sexton gave a packet of tissues to Liz O'Donnell. Although if anybody looked like crying, it was Bertie Ahern.
Poor Bertie. Like a loyal and faithful dog, who has never done anything but serve his nation in return for a little love, his big brown bewildered eyes begged us to stop kicking him.
And after his Dáil performance, it seemed he had done enough. But a remark that he had told Mary Harney before she resigned about the loans from his friends was causing consternation in PD circles. They issued a swift denial. Then ceased radio contact.
At Dublin Castle, Bertie was resplendent in his crimson and purple academic robes, the purple tassel on his velvet cap sitting jauntily over one eye. This should have been a wonderful family occasion for him, with his daughter and her husband looking on, along with his two brothers and two sisters. But he shied away from journalists, who were not allowed to speak to him.
Back in Leinster House, Fianna Fáilers were asking "who needs the PDs anyway?" And still, not a word from Michael McDowell. Withdrawal from Coalition looked increasingly likely.
Can Michael engineer a return without looking like he has his tail between his legs? Or is an unleashed McDowell in Opposition, knowing where the juiciest Government bones are buried, his best option now?
