DÁIL SKETCH: In New York, the Taoiseach is a very popular man – and nobody annoys him about septic tanks and waste disposal. Or greyhounds

THE ACOUSTICS aren’t great in the chamber.

Sometimes, this can give rise to confusion.

When Shane Ross took his turn at Leaders’ Questions and said he wanted to ask the Taoiseach “about the issue of greyhound racing”, we sniffed the air and pricked up our ears.

Mattie McGrath spun around in his seat. We could have sworn he was looking at the Winston Churchtown of Dublin South with a new respect.

If there is a subject that stirs the heart of Mattie more than septic tanks, it is the topic of the “God forgive me – breedin’ bitches”.

But Shane? Habitué of the dog track? You could see deputies nudging each other and asking had they really heard the Carrickmines wing of the Technical Group saying what they thought he had said.

You could have knocked us down with a croquet mallet.

Shane, oblivious to the quizzical faces across the floor, continued.

“Not the issue of the shambles that has existed in Dublin in recent days, but a wider issue. And that is this: how did Greyhound waste get this contract?” Mattie relaxed.

It was only the acoustics playing tricks.

Deputy Ross was not going to get stuck into the subject of dog racing after all. And while he may have been addressing the hot topic of waste – which has consumed many fraught hours in the Dáil over recent weeks – he was only talking about urban waste.

Specifically, the rubbish generated by people in Dublin.

No mileage in that for Mattie.

But the Dublin-based TDs were very interested in what Shane Ross had to say. They have been getting it in the neck from constituents unhappy with the demand for upfront payment from Greyhound, the city’s new waste operator.

Many are also complaining their rubbish remains uncollected.

Deputy Ross, who normally confines himself to grave matters of economic sovereignty and international banking, found himself on the same side as his Technical Group opposites with his unexpected foray into the bins. But while Joe Higgins of the Socialist Workers Party was nodding in agreement, he did it from quite some distance away. It’s a feature of Leaders’ Questions that when it is Shane’s turn to speak, Joe flies from his usual perch and takes up residence at the far end of the section.

Maybe he fears cross-contamination; that he might be labelled a capitalist running dog if captured in the same television frame as the deputy for Dublin South when he holds forth.

Shane has serious questions about the deal between Dublin City Council and waste collector Greyhound for the purchase of the local authority’s lucrative bin collection list. Greyhound also has the contract for South Dublin County Council.

He asked were they not aware that the company had to pay back over a million euro to a State-owned company for overcharging? “The point is, the tenders are flawed,” he said to the Taoiseach.

“At least you could give the House comfort and say contracts of this sort will be looked at more carefully by central government in future and that local government has fallen down in its obligations to examine them properly.”

He got little comfort from the Taoiseach, who didn’t want to get involved in any discussion about the company that the deputy mentioned.

Instead, he advised Deputy Ross that if he had information about a flawed tender process or any wrongdoing that he should go immediately to the Minister for the Environment, the city manager and the local government auditor and inform them of his concerns.

Enda concluded with a swift, unnecessary dig at Shane about the calibre of his information. “The deputy in the past has had information no one else had; he said Mr FitzPatrick gave a stellar performance and that the Bank of Ireland never considered him for duty.” Joe Higgins groaned.

“What a cop out!”

Not that Enda cared. In two hours’ time, he would be on a plane to New York, where he’s a very popular man and nobody annoys him about septic tanks and waste disposal and greyhounds.

We wouldn’t have minded going with him. The Dáil is gone to the dogs these days.