DÁIL SKETCH: Fee issue sees Coalition patience tested as they get a harsh lesson on the perils of promises

AND NOW, another report from our It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time department.

Ruairí Quinn cosied up to the Young People before the general election, promising them the divil and all and no return to university fees or cuts in student grants.

Sure what harm? The students were delighted, especially when Ruairí, bearing glad tidings from the Labour Party, rolled up for an election photocall at the gates of Trinity College. Not only did he repeat his promises to them, but he signed a pledge to that effect. He couldn’t have looked happier.

Roll forward nine months to yesterday morning in the Dáil. There’s Ruairí, sitting on the ministerial benches, looking thoroughly miserable.

While, in the city, thousands of students from all over the country are preparing to march on Leinster House, furious that the now Minister for Education seems set to break his pledge.

All the smiles were gone. But they still have the photo of Ruairí, and him signing that pledge with a confident flourish.

Promises, promises. Where are they now? That’s what Micheál Martin wanted to know. “Five-tonne whoppers,” he called them.

Tánaiste Eamon Gilmore was taking Leaders’ Questions, which explained the heavyweight presence of Labour Ministers on the front bench.

It also explained the high level of engagement from the Opposition. Had the Taoiseach been in the House, he could have sidestepped the fees issue because it was Labour’s baby. Instead they had the Labour leader on the spot and were determined to exploit his party’s embarrassment.

Eamon was in the hot seat because Enda Kenny was busy getting the red-carpet treatment in Berlin from Angela Merkel. But just in case the Taoiseach overstepped the mark in his quest to have Ireland’s debt burden reduced, Frau Merkel brought out the German army to show him who’s boss.

Still, Enda looked good in his navy guard-of-honour topcoat as he inspected the troops, even if images of him inspecting the soldiers will have induced further bouts of queasiness among some of his deputies back home: they’re getting it in the neck over the plan to close four Army barracks.

The Tánaiste snaffled one of Enda’s set-piece gold ties for his stint in the top slot, although the Taoiseach held on to his best one for the rendezvous in Berlin.

The Fianna Fáil and Sinn Féin leaders played the student card with gusto.

Eamon Gilmore, who is calm and sure-footed under fire, turned the tables on Micheál. He reminded the Fianna Fail leader that, this time last year, his government entered into an agreement with the troika which included a commitment to increase student charges.

But Deputy Martin would not be deflected. The Minister said he didn’t regret signing the pledge, but he did it on behalf of Labour, not the new Government.

“That is deeply dishonest politics. It is deeply cynical politics.” This stung the Labour contingent.

“It amounts to cheating students to win votes before an election.” The Fianna Fáilers sensed a small moral victory.

“Willie Penrose was an honourable man,” sighed Timmy Dooley, in a reference to Tuesday’s resignation by the housing minister over the closure of Mullingar barracks.

That’s a stick they’ll be beating Labour with for a while. Across in the Seanad, the FF group were similarly lionising Penrose.

Gerry Adams also took up the cudgels on behalf of the Young People. He quoted Thomas Davis to bolster his case: “Educate that you may be free.” The Tánaiste turned the tables again.

“The student fee for a student in Queen’s University is €3,837. Given all the deputy has said, including his quoting of Thomas Davis, with which I agree, can he explain why it is acceptable to charge a student in Belfast €3,837 and he is complaining about the student registration charged down here which is approximately half of that amount?” The lively response pleased Government deputies no end. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Gerry.

The Opposition retaliated with jibes about the Army barracks.

It got very rowdy. The Ceann Comhairle was beside himself, trying to keep order.

Then Shane Ross, the Winston Churchtown of the Technical Group, stood up and changed the subject. But he didn’t, really. Because he too was concerned about broken promises.

Winston Churchtown was disappointed about the continuation of the exercise of political privilege by the new Government.

“Recent reports indicate that the spoils of war have just moved from this side of the House to the other, and there has been very little change.” He gave examples.

The Tánaiste begged to differ. Among other things, “we have introduced a system whereby any person can make an application or express an interest in appointment to a State board”.

Or go the express route, as expressed by Fianna Fáil’s Billy Kelleher: “yeah, join the Labour Party, join the Fine Gael party and do a little canvassing.” As the Opposition sneered (takes one to know one), Eamon insisted that the fact someone is a member of a political party has no bearing on appointments.

Things disintegrated from there. Independent former Fianna Fáiler Mattie McGrath started bellowing about the barracks.

Fine Gael’s Bernard Durkan came out with a line that stumped everyone. “You’ve got your own version of Bunga-Bunga in Tipperary!” Richard Boyd Barrett of People before Profit, tried to talk about the students again. The Ceann Comhairle – he loves constituency colleague RBB – ordered him to resume his seat. Boyd Barrett refused.

The Ceann Comhairle’s voice rose and rose – Richard really gets under his skin. He sounded like a reject from the Vienna Boys Choir. They were in stitches in the public gallery.

Now, if you don’t resume your seat, you’ll be outside the gate!” cautioned Seán Barrett, now in full falsetto. The Garda dogs in Kildare Street for the student protest howled in pain and put their paws over their ears.

As for Deputy Boyd Barrett, that was no threat; he spends most of his time protesting outside the gate anyway.

The budget isn’t upon us yet and already, the Government is shipping fierce abuse in the Dáil.

But that’s the thing about election promises, they have a habit of coming back and biting politicians in the bum.

No wonder Ruairí was sitting uncomfortably.