DÁIL SKETCH:What good is dredging up the past, asks the Taoiseach, when We Are Where We Are

AND FOR all their high-falutin’ promises, they couldn’t wait to ease their wheels back on to the express lane of entitlement. Here’s our Government now, sailing past the Little People who will have to take the brunt of their budget cuts.

Enda Kenny and Eamon Gilmore – ringleaders of the Dáil’s brazen band of bus-lane bandits, have been remarkably quiet about the recent restoration of Ministers’ right to travel in city bus lanes.

As their creeping notions take hold, they’ll probably start referring to these roads as “cabinet corridors”.

Labour Party backbencher Seán Kenny takes a dim view.

“I think that Government Ministers travelling by car in bus lanes sends out a totally wrong message in this age of austerity,” he said.

See if they care. Does Deputy Kenny not know who they are?

“I would encourage Government Ministers to travel by bus as often as possible to get a feel for the views of the travelling public,” suggests the poor deluded backbencher.

(The last thing our Ministers will want to do in the wake of their first budget is to get a feel of the views of the travelling public. The accident and emergency departments are crowded enough.)

“It would also contribute to easing traffic congestion in the city.” No, Seán. You’d be wrong there. As we all know, former taoiseach Brian Cowen once travelled in the express lane too, but he still fell victim to the congestion.

Minister for Transport Leo Varadkar was the man responsible for rubber-stamping the change in legislation enabling Cabinet members to opt for the road less travelled, but to be fair to him, as reported in a Sunday newspaper, he did not agree with the move. Among a handful of others opposing this return to the path of privilege was Minister for Finance Michael Noonan.

Both men were in the Dáil chamber yesterday afternoon. Leo attended Leaders’ Questions and Michael made it in for the Order of Business. They must have been mortified on their way to Leinster House, purring past the hoi polloi in the executive lane.

Perhaps they should be more like the Taoiseach, who has adopted the tried and trusted “WAWWA” approach to pre-election promises.

There is no point dredging up the past, insisted Enda yesterday. We Are, as the fella said, Where We Are.

He chided Independent deputy Finian McGrath for raking up Labour election promises not to cut the children’s allowance.

“What you continuously do is refer back PRIOR to the decision of the people,” said the Taoiseach.

All the parties had their own programmes before the election. Sure didn’t Finian have one? But things are different now. They could offer the sun, moon and stars before they got in and discovered the sky had fallen in.

“The way we were is not the way we want to be.”

Fianna Fáil could sing that, if they had a tune, but Enda won’t let them.

While it is acceptable for the Taoiseach to spend almost every session of Leaders’ Questions dumping on Fianna Fáil for its past sins, he doesn’t think it fair that the Coalition parties’ sweeping pre-election promises should be revisited.

“False promises,” insisted Deputy McGrath.

But does anybody remember the five-point plan? Thought not. The Fine Gaelers laugh these days when it’s mentioned.

They do things differently now, the Taoiseach told the Fianna Fáil leader. “What I intend to do this year is very different to any budget to date.”

Micheál Martin didn’t disagree. He’s been fascinated by the way the Government has handled the run-up to next month’s budget.

“You’ve doubled the press conferences, you’ve trebled the leaks and you’ve halved the information to the House!”

Not to mention the Germans, who were told about Ireland’s proposed VAT increase last week.

“I’ve no difficulty with information being sent anywhere, once it’s sent to this House first,” said Micheál.

The Sinn Féin leader showed his annoyance by speaking in German, which was marginally less intelligible than his regular forays into Irish.

The Ceann Comhairle asked for a translation. Gerry – the Shinners have always boasted a very smart backroom team – couldn’t oblige.

As for that proposed VAT increase – which the Minister for Finance has all but confirmed – the Taoiseach said nothing had been decided upon. However, if there was to be a 2 per cent hike, it would not apply to items that are currently zero rated.

Like “most food, children’s clothing and, importantly, footwear . . .” And with that, he gave a knowing grin up at the old-timers in the press gallery.

“Very funny, isn’t he?” said Fianna Fáil’s Barry Cowen, dryly.

Tempting fate there, Enda, recalling one of Fine Gael’s darkest hours when John Bruton imposed a tax on children’s shoes and the whole house of cards collapsed around them.

But that’s all in the past now.

It’s the future that counts for this new government of the people. Stretching ahead in the distance, just like the bus lanes they sneakily snaffled back for themselves in October.

Highway robbery.

But they think they’re worth it.

Plus ça change . . .