Even Fine Gael party pup Leo cannot inject boldness into yet another stimulus package

DAIL SKETCH: IT SOUNDED promising. Indakinny was announcing “a bold plan

DAIL SKETCH:IT SOUNDED promising. Indakinny was announcing "a bold plan." There was no indication as to how bold this plan might be, but Leo Varadkar, the pup of the party, was involved.

Inda likes to think he can do bold, but he can’t really. Leo, on the other hand, radiates it.

Anything to relieve the tedium. These election campaigns have hit the wall. The energy-sapping excitement occasioned by George Lee’s transfer to Fine Gael has died down. An air of torpor has settled around Leinster House.

With a number of opinion polls expected at the weekend, the politicians talk of little else.

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(Apparently, Fianna Fáil had a professor in yesterday to give deputies and Senators a master-class in how to read poll results. “With a large brandy,” sighed one deputy afterwards.)

The aforementioned Fianna Fáilers are finding comfort in the line that voters, having taken their anger out on the party at the doorsteps, will not be so quick to do so at the ballot boxes.

“The anger is bottoming out” – a classic sign of what happens in advance of “an upturn”. It might happen before next week is out, they venture to suggest.

The Fine Gaelers are getting edgy. Why have things gone so quiet? Are they expecting too much? Is there a reason for the lull? Should they be worried? Ditto, the Labour Party.

To keep spirits up, time for another launch.

Apart from the political parties, and, ahem, desperate journalists in search of column inches, nobody pays a blind bit of notice to these launches.

A manifesto for Dublin. A manifesto for Europe. A manifesto for Young People. A manifesto for local government. A manifesto for the way forward. A manifesto for manifestos.

Byelection candidates launched. European candidates launched. Local candidates launched.

Lunches to announce launches. Launches for ladies who lunch. Launches for ladies who lurch after lunching. Even in Leinster House, people are getting sick of them.

The Labour Party launched their Dublin Manifesto on the Millennium Bridge across the Liffey.

The wind howled, along with two bystanders who roared a tirade of abuse at Joan Burton and byelection candidates Ivana Bacik and Alex White.

And back to the Fine Gael leader, the party pup Leo and their “bold plan”. Was it a road map for knocking on doors and running away? Whoopee Cushions for all? A blueprint for Biffo-baiting? No. Just another stimulus package aimed at small business. Designed to build on their recent Rebuilding Ireland stimulus package . . .

Be strong.

It’ll be over soon.

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord is a colour writer and columnist with The Irish Times. She writes the Dáil Sketch, and her review of political happenings, Miriam Lord’s Week, appears every Saturday