DÁIL SKETCH:That the Government was told off over delaying a byelection is neither here nor there

“Poor John Curran left and Gormley took his seat. Where he should have been all along. He hadn’t the backbone to deal with the Donegal question, even though his party had been shouting the odds on the plinth a couple of hours earlier

THAT WASN’T too difficult now, was it? It has only taken 16 months and a trip to the High Court for the Government to name a date for the Donegal byelection.

Okay, so wild horses had to drag Cowen and his compadres through the courts to get them to grant the people of Donegal South West their rights, but when you are wedded to democracy and cherish the Constitution in the way our Coalition does, that’s no big deal.

The fact that the President of the High Court had to tell Brian Cowen’s Government that they are disgracing themselves and their country by delaying a byelection to suit their own electoral end is neither here nor there.

Or as Mr Justice Nicholas Kearns more delicately put it: they “offended the spirit of the Constitution” by their lack of action.

Oh, the mortification. It’s not good – even for The Government that Cannot be Embarrassed.

Our rulers have always been on good terms with the judiciary. So when their best friends above in the Four Courts are telling them to buck up and behave, it is deeply wounding. Credibility crumbles further.

In this situation, the Government had to be proactive. They had to come out with their hands up: caught, bang to rights, trying to subvert democracy to save their skins.

A strong statement from Taoiseach Cowen would have been a start.

Instead, when he was asked about the result of Sinn Féin Senator Pearse Doherty’s successful court challenge, Brian Cowen hid behind the Ceann Comhairle’s skirts in the Dáil. As the Opposition clamoured for a comment, he kicked for touch.

And Séamus Kirk, in the chair, refused to entertain any detailed discussion on the implications of the court ruling. It was a truly dispiriting morning.

The sight of Noel Dempsey, smirking over at Fine Gael’s Paul Kehoe and repeatedly taunting “that is not a point of order, that is not a point of order” was probably the lowlight of the morning.

Naturally, the Greens were conflicted after hearing the news from the courts. They looked into their hearts and declared that the Donegal South West byelection should be held immediately, while the High Court verdict should be appealed to the Supreme Court.

It’s not like we don’t have the money to do it. (We are entering nonsense territory at this stage.) While the Greens emoted on the plinth, there wasn’t a word from their senior Coalition partners. The Opposition tried to smoke them out in the afternoon with their special notice questions.

Naturally, poor John Curran was sent out to bat.

When Biffo made him Chief Whip, John thought he would be the one administering the lashes, but soon discovered he was being put forward for regular thrashings from the Opposition. Poor John.

He trailed in disconsolately to answer the questions. Judge Kearns truly set the cat among the pigeons with his ruling. More misery for this Government.

The president of the High Court will be off their Christmas card list this year. Not that it matters, because they intend to cancel Christmas in the four-year plan.

Good man, yer honour! What a strange day in Leinster House, with Sinn Féin standing resolutely by the Constitution, Fianna Fáil averting their eyes from the aforementioned Constitution, and the Greens finding the judgment too rich for their delicate constitution.

The country is in turmoil. And what passes for politics has sunk to the level of farce. It’s a shambles in Kildare Street.

And into it all trots meek John Curran, with nothing to say on behalf of his Government, but nevertheless thrust centre stage with a mandate from on high to say it.

The Opposition didn’t want to see him. In fact, when he padded apologetically to the seat where they expected to see Minister for the Environment John Gormley, deputies across the floor exploded with rage.

John, all rosy cheeked and humble, bleated out the usual script – economy emerging from recession, all that sort of stuff.

Then he says the Government will be “briefed” on the judgment at their 5pm Cabinet meeting, and will act as soon as possible thereafter.

How soon is soon as possible, poor John was asked.

He couldn’t say.

It was “farcical” not to have the Minister for the Environment present, given that this is his area of responsibility, argued Fine Gael’s Phil Hogan.

Poor John looked hurt.

Will the house be informed of the outcome of the 5pm Cabinet meeting?

“I can’t pre-empt that. There may be no decisions at that time,” squeaked the Government Chief Whip, who was hounded and harried and soundly thrashed. Labour’s Ciarán Lynch wondered why the Government hadn’t prepared any response to the outcome of the case; there were only two ways it could go.

“Yes, we did know there was going to be a ruling, but . . .” said John, sounding thoroughly miserable. He was on his own, apart from junior minister Michael Finneran, who looked like he wanted to be somewhere else.

Fine Gael’s Alan Shatter was impressed by the Greens. “What is it in the gene pool of the Green Party that enables it to digest this judgment within sufficient time to do their traditional dance on the plinth and then shoot off in two directions simultaneously?” Then he wondered whether Mr Gormley had stayed out of the chamber because he didn’t want to make “a greater fool of himself” than he already had today.

The Opposition wondered whether the Green Party leader had requested not to take the questions, even though he is responsible for election matters.

And poor John wittered about, having spoken on the issue before in the House and being asked to attend “in that context”. Eventually, things cooled down. No point in upsetting John Curran too much. He was very much in the role of the young lad who answers the door to the rent man and ventures: “Mammy says she isn’t in today.” And there it would have rested, until the Government would embark on its embarrassing byelection climbdown later in the night.

Except when business turned to the election of a mayor for Dublin, Mr Gormley was seen to slink into the chamber.

Poor John Curran left and Gormley took his seat. Where he should have been all along.

He hadn’t the backbone to deal with the Donegal question, even though his party had been shouting the odds on the plinth a couple of hours earlier.

What a neck.

The writ will be moved by the Government this morning, after they knocked down similar attempts by the Opposition on three separate occasions.

And then, the Cough(lan) crowed. Will she do the moving? They are beyond embarrassment now.