SKETCH:"REMOVE THE portraits!" comes the cry from the Seanad.

But which ones? All eyes turn to Obeokuta (64 miles north of Lagos) for the answer.

“I’ve been framed!” wails Bertie, helpfully. One member of the rogues gallery, so.

Happily for the former taoiseach, nobody cares about the Mahon tribunal in the Ogun region of Nigeria. They’re much more interested in hearing his thoughts on sustainable economic development, and willing to pay handsomely for the privilege.

And it gets Bertie out of the country at an awkward time like this.

Labour Senator James Heffernan didn’t actually name any names when he called for a cull of the canvases in Leinster House. But he wants the paintings of “tainted taoisigh” to be taken down, instead of smiling down.

He said – in the press release he rushed out to grab a piece of the post-Mahon tribunal action – this would send out “a strong symbolic message” to visitors.

Reading between the lines, he wants Bertie Ahern, Albert Reynolds and Charlie Haughey removed from the walls. Granted, they are no oil paintings (in the non-artistic sense), but should they be airbrushed from the life of Leinster House? An interesting question.

John Bruton’s position in that prestigious line-up would also be in doubt after the Fianna Fáil leader went on the offensive at the beginning of the debate on last week’s Mahon tribunal report.

After enduring a torrid weekend for himself and his party, Micheál Martin decided it was time to fight back.

He wheeled a slurry tank of malfeasance into the chamber, attached a hose, switched to reverse pump and liberally sprayed the contents over Fine Gael, Labour and Sinn Féin.

They didn’t like it.

At the outset, Deputy Martin stressed that he accepted the findings of the Mahon tribunal, and said he wouldn’t be “cherrypicking” from those aspects of the report more favourable to Fianna Fáil – something Fine Gael did after the publication of Moriarty.

Nor would he be avoiding accountability – not like the crowd across the floor.

Deputy Martin didn’t have to do this yesterday evening because he was too busy attacking the opposition for their sins.

He seems far more concerned with the Moriarty report, which asked hard questions of Fine Gael, than he was with the issue at hand.

By the end of his speech, Fianna Fáil was a party of paragons compared with the money-grubbing Blueshirts.

“The effort by Fine Gael to whitewash Moriarty’s findings from history is deeply cynical, and the support they are receiving in this from Labour is striking,” charged Micheál, to very little dissent from across the floor.

The media was complicit too. Journalists didn’t go down on them like a ton of bricks in the way they are doing now to Fianna Fáil.

“Since Moriarty was published I’m not aware of any serious effort to question the Taoiseach or Ministers whether they thought their fundraising was appropriate. Questions about relations with Mr O’Brien have been belated and limited.” It’s just not fair. Micheál sounded very, very, hard done by.

“I accept the findings against members of my party. I will not accept hypocrisy,” he fumed.

Fianna Fáil is angry. Micheál Martin sounded angry.

Hence the attack.

Take Fine Gael’s annual golf classic, where millionaire business people contribute to party coffers and get a chance to rub Pringle sweaters with the party’s top brass.

“That event is no different from the Galway tent, which was stopped four years ago,” sniffed Micheál, making a virtue out of what is now universally viewed as an abomination.

Sinn Féin were rounded upon for their part in murders and robberies and kneecappings.

Eamon Gilmore’s Workers’ Party past was dredged up in Micheál’s scattergun defence.

And, of course, who was to know about Bertie Ahern’s convoluted financial arrangements? Not Micheál or anybody else in his party. He invoked Ruairí Quinn’s name to bolster his point. Hadn’t Ruairí, who was in cabinet with Bertie, been “shocked” by what emerged about him?

“I believe Minister Ruairí Quinn when he says that he noticed nothing, for the very reason that the activity was hidden. The same applied for the rest of Bertie Ahern’s colleagues.” But Micheál was weak on the issue that is causing him, and his party, most difficulty. Everyone was unaware of Bertie Ahern’s secret money dealing. The problem concerns how the Ahern government dealt with his time in the tribunal witness box.

Everyone knew his evidence was unbelievable. But Fianna Fáil turned a blind eye. And they continued to do it until the report was issued.

The party leader had no answer to that yesterday. So instead, he went on the attack. There was much in what he said.

He just protested too much.