NO TAXPAYERS were harmed in the making of this year’s Christmas parties, we have been assured.

Any drink to be drunk or food to be scoffed was paid for out of party coffers or personal hip pocket.

On Thursday, Senator Tom Sheahan organised a night for his Fine Gael colleagues in The Brazen Head pub. More than 50 TDs and Senators paid their €20 admission to the party, where the highlight of the occasion was Tom’s inaugural end-of-year awards.

The former deputy for Kerry South even organised prizes of weekend breaks in Killarney for the lucky winners.

There were four people in the running for Rookie of the Year. Senator Catherine Noone took the honours ahead of Deputy Mary Mitchell O’Connor, Senator Terry “Scobe” Brennan and Deputy Nicky McFadden.

Handing over the gong, Tom described the bubbly Noone as “high maintenance”, which was quite something, given the other two women in the reckoning. (No offence, Scobe.) Deputy Áine Collins of Cork North West was declared the Best Dressed FG Politician for “wearing her daughter’s wardrobe”. Swear to God, that’s what Senator Sheahan said.

He also managed to insult Deputies Bernard Durkan and his Man from Del Monte suit; Heather Humphries for her efforts to keep the fur farmers in business; Brendan Griffin “for that red shirt”; and Tom “Pretty Boy” Barry.

Deputy Griffin came in for honourable mention on a few occasions – he’s the man who took Tom Sheahan’s seat in the last election.

Three TDs were up for Best Contribution of the Year: Eoghan Murphy, Jerry “Duracell” Buttimer and the aforementioned seat swiper, Griffin.

Butsy was commended for never shutting up while Deputy Griffin’s contribution was not, in fact, a spoken but a financial one. When he got to the Dáil, Brendan announced he would draw only half his TD’s salary and urged others to do the same. He was duly ignored.

After the ceremony there was music from The Ferrymen followed by a sing-song. Crooners included Deputies Joe Carey, Tony Lawlor and Martin Hayden, while Tipperary’s Noel Curran performed his usual trick of bringing the Blueshirt house down with an overwrought rendition of the song Michael Collins. “Twas a grand night. It was great fun. I’m thinking of making the awards an annual event,” Tom tells us.

No Ministers were in attendance. “We were expecting two but they didn’t show.” They were probably at the alternative party in Leinster House, where those who prefer a more sedate class of socialising paid €40 a head for a meal in the members’ restaurant. “It was a bit quiet and there weren’t that many people,” said a TD from another party. “But then Michael Noonan came in and everyone seemed to cheer up.”

The Taoiseach was unable to attend as he had an engagement in Co Meath. His deputy leader, James Reilly, spoke after the meal and set off a chain reaction from the other tables. Peter Mathews said his piece (remarkably brief) and he was followed by Nicky McFadden, Heather Humphries and Áine Collins, who organised the dinner.

The three women then went off to Tom Sheahan’s more lively soiree.

The only other diners in the room were Fianna Fáil Senators Terry Leyden and Paschal Mooney. And even though it was Fine Gael’s party, they both stood stood and made speeches too.