Some unkind colleagues have been referring to Alan Kelly as The Minister for Waterworks.
We think Kelly should be commended for getting in touch with his softer side.
And he should be grateful to the kind person who leaked details of his emotional moment at this week’s Labour parliamentary party meeting, thus letting the media know that the Minister for the Environment is blameless when it comes to leaking information to journalists, and, not only that, but these allegations are so hurtful they make him cry.
Alan is lucky that correspondents from all the major news outlets got to hear about his distress before deadline time.
Cynics in the Dáil bar are not so moved by the exploits of Labour’s Weeping Wunderkind. It was rumoured he was seen peeling a large onion and inhaling the fumes before he went into the meeting.
Some of the political vulgarians decided to make a slight change to the nickname they have for Kelly, who is noted for his very macho, swaggering gait.
They hit upon it after watching Love/Hate and hearing how gangster Nidge referred to Spanish-based crime boss Terence.
Since the Minister’s emotional interlude, they’re now calling him Alan “Big Bawls” Kelly.
Some in Labour have no time for bickering and backstabbing over who leaked what. They’re busy trying to get re-elected.
To this end, Joanna Tuffy of Dublin Mid-West held a public meeting in the Red Cow Hotel last week on the topic “A Living Wage”. She put up posters around the constituency advertising it.
A few days before the meeting, her colleague Robert Dowds was driving in the area when he saw a man up a ladder cutting the cable ties and removing her posters.
Dowds, who is Joanna’s director of elections, summoned a friend for back-up and they confronted the man, who refused to hand back the posters (about a dozen) and drove off in his Merc.
Sherlock Dowds tracked him down, called to his home and again demanded their return. But the culprit, who was complaining about littering, had already cut them up. The Garda Síochána became involved, but they are taking no further action.
And speaking of posters, but much smaller ones, we hear that a mini-war has broken out in Agriculture House, where the Independent TDs are billeted.
Mattie McGrath has an office opposite Catherine Murphy.
McGrath put a large picture of the pope on his door. And Murphy now has a copy of The Irish Times' front page proclaiming the passing of the marriage equality referendum pinned to hers.
Birthday bash for Bakhurst big news at RTÉ
A belated happy birthday to RTÉ’s popular head of news and current affairs, Kevin Bakhurst.
The great and good of Montrose helped him celebrate his 50th at a big bash organised by his wife in a Ballsbridge pub last weekend, pulling out all the stops for a colleague who is hotly tipped to become their next director general.
Amid the flowing tributes, centrepiece of the evening in Haddington Road was a mock news broadcast anchored by Six One’s Bryan Dobson and Sharon Ní Bheoláin, featuring a succession of newsroom heavyweights breathlessly conveying details of Bakhurst’s birthday milestone.
RTÉ’s London correspondent Fiona Mitchell contributed a segment, while Northern editor Tommie Gorman delivered a tour-de-force from Belfast.
Mario Rosenstock did his José Mourinho impression for Chelsea fan Bakhurst. “Every time he come into the stadium, people shout: ‘Here come Wacky Backy!”
It was noted by some of partygoers that the Cambridge-educated former BBC executive is throwing himself into life in Éire and taking Irish language lessons. There are some in RTÉ who mutter that a grasp of the cupla focail would do no harm to somebody who might fancy a crack at the top job in Irish broadcasting. The plum post of DG becomes vacant when Noel Curran steps down next year.
Master of ceremonies was GAA heartthrob Marty Morrissey, Londoner Bakhurst’s very best pal on this side of the water. Like the Irish RM and Flurry Knox, they get on famously.
With a nod to the birthday boy’s previous employer, Tommie Gorman roped in the Beeb’s Ireland correspondent for his contribution. Mark Simpson reported that news of Bakhurst’s immersion in all things Irish has caused a stir back at headquarters, where BBC now stands for Bring Back Caoimhín.
That got a big laugh from the Donnybrook brigade, particularly as Bakhurst might yet return to the mothership after his big adventure here.
There was more laughter when another wellwisher from Northern Ireland appeared on screen. Sinn Féin’s Martin McGuinness, who seems like a decent sport, sent a message of goodwill to RTÉ’s managing director of news and current affairs coupled with some lighthearted banter along the lines of “we” know all about Kevin and we’re keeping an eye on him...
Just as well the election hasn’t started, otherwise the other parties would now be demanding equal time to schmooze the national broadcaster’s current affairs kingpins in a similarly relaxed setting.
Cost of new carpet is a soft issue
There’s lovely new carpet in Leinster House.
The soft, luxurious pile is so deep that it sways underfoot, inducing a slightly tipsy feeling as you walk along the corridors.
How much has it cost? The Oireachtas authorities won’t say. Reporters who asked were advised to submit a Freedom of Information request. The results, or otherwise, should be coming through soon.
What we do know, thanks to the OPW tender for supply and fitting, is that the custom-made carpet is “gun tufted” and is 100 per cent “cut pile velvet”.
TDs don’t like to talk about the new floor covering, which is being installed bit by bit in the public areas. They know they’ll be accused of spending public money on unnecessary luxuries, even if they didn’t ask for the job to be done.
In truth, the old carpet was well past its prime. There is a lot of traffic through Leinster House and in the busier areas it had become threadbare and grubby. The grand staircase to the Dáil chamber looked like something you’d find in a fleapit hotel.
But you would have been hard-pressed to find a politician willing to say it should be replaced.
James Heffernan, former Labour senator turned Social Democrat, is wondering what became of the old carpet.
“I know most of it was only fit for the dump, but in some of the quieter areas it was in lovely condition. I was hoping to get my hands on a couple of yards for the front room – it would have been a talking point. That carpet represented the best of Irish craftsmanship,” he says.
