“I don’t take no for an answer. If someone tells me no, it only encourages me. It only encourages me to go back and make sure it is a yes. You all know I am not out there trying to win any popularity contest. If I am, I am failing.”
After a bruising week in the national media, Alan Kelly retreated to his Tipperary heartland for his official campaign launch on Saturday.
Over 500 people turned up to support Labour’s deputy leader, with queues forming an hour before the doors opened. Six protesters showed up but fled due to the bad weather.
The Scouts’ Hall in Nenagh was draped with posters of the man himself and the big screen flashed pictures of Kelly, his family and friends.
There was no sign of Joan “the Boss” Burton – an unfortunate oversight by her “obedient employee”.
The night’s proceedings began with a 10-minute video of Tipperary voters telling us why Alan Kelly had their support.
“I’m voting Alan Kelly number one because he is wonderful and great and brought the county loads of money and sure doesn’t he look like BOD?” was the gist.
Toughest campaign
Liam Gleeson, director of elections for Kelly, admits this will be the toughest campaign they have ever fought: "It's the dirtiest. They will attack Alan from all parties and no party. The media portray him as not being a decent person. But we know him for the upstanding individual he is."
Gleeson says 2,000 posters were erected in Tipperary in eight hours after the election was called, but the weather and “more sinister elements” have seen some fall by the wayside.
Kelly is the only person who can represent Tipperary at the top table, he says. “Only one of the many candidates standing for Tipperary has the ability and the trust to serve as a senior Minister.
"While the other politicians are griping, Alan Kelly is getting the job done," he declared, forgetting that recent contretemps when his modest candidate robustly complained about a rival TD getting top billing over him on Newstalk's Breakfast Show.
Poor Michael Lowry’s ears must have been on fire.
After a series of speeches telling us how Kelly has all but secured world peace, the main man took to the stage.
‘Like Obama’
“Vote Alan Kelly” rings from the speakers. The infamous rap is his walk-on song. “He’s like Obama isn’t he?” one woman swoons. A 30-minute speech ensues, with so many Kellyisms we lose count.
“There are many naysayers out there who try to drag me and drag us down. I tell you one thing for nothing: they can say what they like, but one thing you never say about Alan Kelly is that he didn’t call it straight, do his best, speak up for his county and deliver time and time again.”
The crowd rejoice. Feet stomp. ‘Up ya boya!’ chants ring from the back of the room. It’s not long before the turf war makes an appearance.
“I pick sides. I never sit on the fence. I make decisions. I don’t believe in populist politics. I don’t believe in saying you can give everything to everyone.”
The Labour deputy leader is loyal first to wife Regina and children Ava and Senan. Then it's his friends, parish, county, country, and finally, party. "That is the way I am."
He leaves with a defiant parting shot. “I am only getting started. You haven’t seen anything yet.”
Now it’s the media’s turn to rejoice. And Labour quiver.
