"Thanks for logging on," says a concerned looking Pat Rabbitte to visitors to the Labour Party website. "I'm glad to get the chance to talk to you in person."
Via your computer. He speaks more in sadness, than in anger. Then he asks the Big Question. "Are you happy?" He asks again. And again. "Are you happy?" Just like he did on Saturday night at the Labour Party conference.
One senses a big theme unfolding.
Then he changes tack, for the sake of variety. "Is it worth it?" he wonders.
There's just no escape from doleful Pat and his gloomy demands. Yesterday, just in case he hadn't got the message across at the weekend, the Labour leader unveiled a new advertising campaign.
It's very simple. Just four words in red on a white background. "But, are you happy?" Deputies and Senators turned out for the launch. Sadly, they found it difficult to contain their delight. The event attracted a huge media turnout.
Unfortunately, party handlers must have forgotten to bring along the strong onions they had intended to peel as soon as the cameras were turned on. Consequently, instead of fielding a damp-eyed and sniffing contingent of politicians, they all seemed far too pleased with themselves. In keeping with the theme, they might have at least tried to look miserable in solidarity with the intended targets of their campaign.
But then, Labour has been overdosing on the happy pills since Pat's surprise pledge to cut the lower rate of tax, which provoked an hilariously petulant Government reaction and lots of headlines.
The high-spirited group took over the pavement outside Government Buildings, clearly convinced they have struck a chord with an electorate enjoying increased wealth but a reduced quality of life. Apart from the question above on the admobile, there was one other glaring issue to be addressed yesterday. "Are you happy, Pat?"
A harassed-looking woman pushing a twin buggy tried to get past as Deputy Rabbitte did his best not to sound like a happy bunny, while explaining how gratified he is to find that his speech has found "resonance with the public".
He didn't notice the little family group trying to push their way through, even though the babies were patently unhappy in their nappies.
Eventually, their plight was noticed and a way was cleared to let them through.
Mercifully, Pat didn't see them. If he had, he might have treated the mother to a passage from his gloomy press release. "You've been working harder than ever, while asking yourself the question: 'Is it worth it? Life today seems to be more work, more pressure, less benefits - less time for yourself and less time for your family.'"
He'll be a barrel of laughs on the election trail. While Bertie will be laughing and squeezing gurgling tots, Pat will be accosting people and telling them they're unhappy.
Life, it seems, is not a bed of roses. Cue the Labour logo. You want roses? Look at Pat. He's happy. He thinks he's worth it. And he intends to make a happy meal out of the state of the nation from now until polling day.
