SKETCH:GREY AND sleek, John Gormley padded into the Great Hall of the Greens, smiling from ear to ear. Tail up, double cream dripping from his whiskers.
He should really have come in on all fours. The Minister - yes, it's really true, guys! - purred through his speech.
Oh! Such a contented Gormley.
Oh! Such a happy leader.
Oh! He could eat himself without pepper and salt.
Could it get any better? Yes, it could.
God bless Mr Liu for giving John an extra spring roll for dinner on Saturday night.
Courtesy of the Chinese ambassador, Minister Gormley ended up enjoying the best of both worlds in the aftermath of his keynote address: a radical alley cat with his paws on the plump cushions of government.
Until Liu Biwei got into an oriental huff, the Green Party convention had been very run of the mill. Jolly and self-satisfied (in a save-the-world sort of way), delegates were understandably upbeat at being in Government for the first time.
The mood in the Fairways Hotel in Dundalk was good-humoured and relaxed, with no real prospect of dissent from the platform or the floor.
A few weeks ago, it could have been much different. The party leadership was genuinely worried that the ghost of an embarrassing relative, with a history of financial amnesia, might turn up and cause havoc at their family get-together.
However, once Bertie Ahern announced his resignation plans, John Gormley and his Government colleagues were freed from the mortifying task of trying to convince their comrades that they were not ethically compromised by choosing to turn a blind eye to the Taoiseach's Mahon tribunal evidence.
Bertie's decision to step down couldn't have come at a better time.
And so, it was business as usual, but this time with two State cars and better suits.
At the weekend, Trevor Sargent, in charge the last time they all met, became to the Greens what Des O'Malley is to the PDs. No PD conference is complete without reverential nods, standing ovations and mentions from the platform for Des, their former leader and founding father.
Now Trevor, the former leader who steered the Greens to the promised land, is similarly revered. Every time he appeared on the platform, he was lauded for his role in steering the party to greatness and his services to root vegetables.
He was in nostalgic mood, remembering the time he first met John Gormley. It was in the 1980s on O'Connell Bridge. John was wearing a gas mask and protesting against smog, recalled Trevor. He went on to wax fondly about how, back then, he used to spend a lot of time digging compost toilets.
Which moved some of us to wonder if John had been telling Trevor the full truth about why he was wearing that gas mark.
There was a beehive with real bees in the display area. You could buy little bags of seeds from Irish Seed Savers for €2.50 or purchase an eco T-shirt for €7.50 and a jute bag for €7.
Deputy Ciarán Cuffe held a workshop on Saturday afternoon, advising people how to minimise their carbon footprint. He was a mine of information on such diverse topics as how to boil potatoes, do your washing, dispose of doggy poo and keep rats off your compost heap.
Things flagged a little as the day wore on, particularly as some people like Senator Dan Boyle had been up very late on Friday night singing medleys of Beatles songs.
Then Deputy Eamon Ryan threatened to take his shirt off on the podium and caused quite a frisson among the ladies. But he was only speaking metaphorically.
Ah, but it's great to be in Government. A very glamourous looking Mary White did the warm-up for John Gormley, and she packed her well delivered speech with an assortment of one-liners. Some, it has to be said, were better than others.
She had her own version of Brian Cowen's famous "If in doubt, leave them out!" line.
"Leave us out, and you're up the spout!" chorused Mary.
Doesn't that mean pregnant? Maybe she meant "up the sprout".
Finally, John Gormley had his moment in the sun, which is just the perfect place for the cat who has just got the cream.
His speech purred along nicely, if in a non-controversial, self-congratulatory way. Then he came to the bit on China, and human rights abuses in Tibet.
The Chinese ambassador had been told that Minister Gormley would be addressing the subject, so he was fully prepared to be insulted.
Mr Liu Biwei, accompanied by Wang Xiusheng and Du Lei, sat next to the door. So when the time came for them to take the hump, they hadn't far to go.
John Gormley got a rousing round of applause as they left, and the atmosphere lifted. The young Greens were particularly impressed. Short of handcuffing himself to the railings of the nearest Chinese restaurant, the Minister couldn't have impressed them more.
Even the anti-Lisbon people were delighted. A smiling Mr Liu was interviewed outside before he left. Delegates hit the bars and dancing went on until all hours.
