THE Summer O Sport rolls remorselessly on (regardless of Eileen Battersby's admirable enthusiasm in Weekend 12). Sport haters who were grinding their teeth during Euro `96 can only weep at the prospect of wall to wall coverage of the Olympics for two weeks from next weekend. The BBC and RTE are each offering more than 12 hours a day of coverage, beginning next Friday night, or rather next Saturday morning, with the opening ceremony all four pompom twirling, firework shooting, flag waving hours of it running until five o'clock in the morning. One ends up longing for the good old Cold War days of boycotts, when the number of countries was kept down to manageable proportions. The real question, though, is whether it is constitutional to hold this kind of shindig in the US without including Diana Ross in red chiffon singing her Greatest Hits medley?
It may be a relief for the athletes that the Olympics are a less Eurocentric event than the World Cup they won't be required to strut their stuff under the blazing midday sun for the enjoyment of prime time viewers on this side of the Atlantic. For the hard working, dedicated couch potato here, however, the corollary is that most of the major events will be taking place in the wee small hours. Sonia O'Sullivan and Catherina McKiernan will be out on the track at two in the morning when the athletics begin in two weeks' time. The sensible thing for the committed to do might be to surrender to the inevitable take an imaginary flight to the Deep South on Friday afternoon, stock up with hot dogs and soft drinks and live your life by Eastern Standard Time for the duration of the Games.
During Euro 96, it was reported that Chinese workers were falling over at their machinery because they'd been staying up, all night for the football. It's unlikely that our own Celtic Tiger economy is likely to be much affected by the range of activities on offer in the first week from Atlanta. With all due respect to Michelle Smith, we Irish, despite the fact that we're surrounded by water, have never been particularly fascinated by the aquatic arts, which dominate the first few days. The idea bf staying up until two o'clock in the morning to watch a bunch of indistinguishable human torpedoes splash up and down a swimming pool is unlikely to appeal much to a mass audience here.
There's a certain fascination in watching sports like handball (the European sort), which we only get to see once every four years, and there's always the obligatory "wacky new sport". This year's version is beach volleyball can swing ball, donkey and crazy golf be far behind?
Once again, the avuncular kingpins of the RTE and BBC sports departments will be squaring up against each other, with Bill O'Herlihy doing the honours for RTE and Des Lynam leading the massive BBC contingent. RTE is rightly confident that on this occasion it can hold the vast majority of the domestic audience in covering such a huge, diffuse event the local perspective is crucial, while the only real interest beyond curiosity in many of the events is the extent of Irish involvement.
Back at home, the real sparks promise to fly when the athletics get underway on the second weekend. Last week's warm up at the Bislett Games in Oslo gave a foretaste of the kind of "cheerful banter" we can expect between the two experts, John Treacy and Eamonn Coghlan, as they struggle for the title of supreme pundit (Treacy "Who in this studio has run the fastest 5,000 metres, then?" Coghlan "It's winning that counts").
This is the sort of real, no holds barred competition we can all look forward to with anticipation, and with a bit of luck there should be blood on the studio floor before the closing ceremony. My money is on Treacy at least he has a sense of humour but there's always a chance that Coghlan could bluster his way through in the finishing straight. So, on with the pan stick and blusher, button up those St Bernard leisure shirts, and let the Games begin.
