MUSCULAR GLADIATORS in winged helmets, scantily dressed acrobats, chariots, giant golden shells and huge fountains – it’s enough to get Busby Berkeley spinning happily in his grave.
No, we're not on the set of a camp remake of Ben Hur, but at the O2 in Dublin last night, where Kylie Minogue arrived with her Aphrodite – Les Folies tour. Think Greek sword-and-sandal epic crossed with Moulin Rougedecadence and sci-fi fantasy, topped with a big splash of La Dolce Vita, and you might come close to describing the lavish sensory feast that the diminutive Aussie singer is toting around the world this year.
The European leg of the tour boasts statistics worthy of a U2 or Rolling Stones show: there are more than a million moving parts onstage – and that’s not including the dancers’ supple limbs.
Kylie emerges Venus-like from within a giant clam shell to sing the title track from her current album, Aphrodite. "Dia dhaoibh!" she greets her Irish fans, as she is pulled along a huge circular catwalk for I Believe In You. For the next two hours, we are treated to a veritable visual feast, as Kylie and her dancers go all out to entertain. The finale features 30 high-pressure water jets in a display of waterworks that ensures there is not a dry seat in the front rows of the O2.
The lucky few who get to stand in the Splash Zone are given free Kylie ponchos, just so they don’t catch their death. The music gets a bit lost in the spectacle, but shorn of their attendant glamour, glitz and garish costumes, many of Kylie’s songs wouldn’t stand up to cold, unadorned scrutiny.
There are, of course, plenty of exceptions. Can't Get You Out of My Head, Get Outta My Wayand Spinning Aroundare kitschy disco classics, and her best tunes are lapped up by the bedazzled fans. When she tosses out some of her older hits, such as Better The Devil You Know, it's a sign of how much the 42-year-old diva has come on since her Stock, Aitken and Waterman teen-pop days.
But though she is surrounded by half-naked dancers, big props and more fountains than the Piazza Navona, it’s Kylie herself who commands the centre of attention all the way. She may not be able to belt ‘em out like a Tina Turner, but her impressive array of costumes, all designed by Dolce and Gabbana, are loud enough.
If Kylie doesn’t quite pack the pop-cultural punch of a Madonna or a Lady Gaga, at least she realises that to truly make your mark in pop, you need to make a big showbiz splash.
