Norway and Sweden have been rated the best places to raise kids. Should mothers-to-be move north?

WHEN Lena Maher became restless as a stay-at-home mother of four children in Ireland she could see no prospect of being able to return to work for another five or 10 years. The high cost of childcare seemed to make it impossible.

It was one of the main reasons that she and her husband, Ronan Maher, from Co Meath, decided in 2007 that the family should move from Dublin to her native Norway.

Heavily subsidised, high-quality childcare and “the most wonderful after-school care”, explains Maher from their home in Oslo, allowed her to start a new career in costume design, while raising 12-year-old Ida, 10-year-old Ruth, seven-year-old Patrick and five-year-old Elsa.

She was not a bit surprised when Norway was confirmed this week as the best place to be a mother, topping Save the Children’s annual Mothers’ Index for the second year in a row. Ireland is ranked 16th; the worst is Afghanistan, out of 164 countries.

If the Mahers had moved earlier they could have availed of the generous parental leave of 46 weeks on full pay (or 56 weeks on 80 per cent pay), with at least 10 of those weeks to be taken by the father – as well as the two weeks he gets for the birth.

After that extended leave women expect – and are expected – to return to work. So from the age of one children attend kindergartens, which are open from 7.30am to 5pm, at a cost of about €250 a month – what some parents pay a week for full-time daycare in Ireland.

However, although she and Ronan, who is 37, are in full-time employment, they can be reunited with their children “at a decent hour”, says the 41-year-old, unlike in Ireland, where the working day is later and longer.

Employers are flexible, and, as long as the hours are done, it is perfectly acceptable to leave work at 4pm. “Everybody understands you need to get your kids out of kindergarten.” The enlightened education system lets children learn through play until they start school at six – with after-school care provided until the age of 10. School is mandatory to the age of 16; students then continue through upper secondary school and on to university, all for free.

Medical care for under-12s is also free in Norway – something Lena particularly appreciates, as she recalls how illness would spread through the children when they were small, leading to huge GP bills. Norwegian children also get free dental care until they are 18.

But before every prospective mother here starts thinking about hopping on a plane to Norway, there are downsides. Lena believes there is more respect in Ireland for mothers who stay at home, and her Norwegian friends envy her for having been able to enjoy the early years with her children.

She remembers on one occasion returning to Norway for a holiday and, as she stood there with four children under six and a half, a friend’s husband said to her: “When are you going to contribute?”

Meanwhile, when Orla Fehrling from Dublin moved to Stockholm 18 years ago with her Swedish husband, Tomas Fehrling, she had no idea that she was choosing one of the best countries in the world for their future children.

While the Mothers’ Index surveys the well-being of both mothers and children, when it looks only at children’s welfare Sweden comes out on top; Ireland is ranked only 29th for that one and Somalia last.

Nearly every Swedish child enjoys good health and stays in education from pre-school through secondary school, with the vast majority progressing to senior high school (age 16-19) and on to university.

Fehrling, a 48-year-old self-employed English-language teacher, says what made life easier for her having Morgan, who is now 14, and Daniel, who is nine, in Sweden was the year and a half of maternity leave, which can be shared with the father. At the end of the leave everything is geared to a comfortable return to work, with heavily subsidised childcare provided. “If I’m happy, then my child is happy,” she says.

But at the same time you cannot underestimate the pull of the motherland and extended family when you have your first baby, so moving to Sweden for the sake of the children might not be the answer.

Describing herself as a “love refugee”, Fehrling agrees that early motherhood abroad is difficult. “You are kind of raw, and it is a different culture and a different language.” The Swedish “learn and play” approach to early education also takes a bit of getting used to. “You do wonder sometimes, boy, are they ever going to be able to write?”