Nadine Lott’s grieving mother, Claire, stood at her funeral and, in a clear voice that barely quavered with emotion, spoke of the love and pride she felt for her daughter.
She was her angel, said Claire; she was “an amazing mother first and foremost and an incredible daughter”.
Six-year-old Kya, the child to whom Nadine was mother, and to whom Claire is grandmother, sat in the front pew of Sts Mary and Peter’s church in Arklow, Co Wicklow, surrounded by other members of Nadine’s heartbroken family and friends, seemingly oblivious to the enormity of the occasion.
Kya “has her very own guardian angel”, Claire said, turning to her granddaughter. “Mummy will always love you,” she added, declining to refer to her dead daughter in the past tense.
Nadine died last Tuesday from multiple injuries that were apparent when emergency services came to her apartment in the early hours of the previous Saturday. How she received those injuries, and the extent of them, is the subject of criminal proceedings against a man.
Six men carried Nadine’s coffin into the church. It was white, the colour of innocence and purity.
Ivory roses
Laid before the altar, a spray of ivory roses and greenery was placed on top, together with a pair of flower-filled sparkling stiletto shoes, symbols of Nadine’s fun-filled and joyous social life.
As a child, said Claire, Nadine was always the one at the centre of a group making others laugh. As an adult, she loved photographs.
Close to 1,000 people took every seat inside and lined the rear and side walls of the building
“Memories, Mum,” said Claire, quoting her daughter as to why she took so many, “we’re making memories.”
“Little did we know,” said Claire. “Nadine, we will miss you and love you forever, darling.”
The applause of the congregation and admiration for her poise will likely be of little comfort.
The church at the top of Arklow’s main street was filled to overflowing. Close to 1,000 people took every seat inside and lined the rear and side walls of the building. Outside, hundreds more crowded into a nearby hall to watch the funeral online or stood in front of the church listening to speakers relaying proceedings.
To the altar, Nadine’s father, David, brought one of her handbags, a black and gold glistening symbol of her life and the grace with which she could turn an ordinary object into a glamorous prop to accentuate her own very evident beauty.
Stiletto shoes
Her brother, Kyle, brought a posed photograph of mother and daughter, both of them lying on the floor, peering at the camera, laughing and relaxed like a pair of friends. Her sister Phoebe brought another pair of stiletto shoes while her sister Tanith brought a photo album.
“It’s not supposed to be like this,” said Fr Michael Murtagh, a thought to which he returned again and again in his funeral homily.
Words were “completely inadequate” for the occasion, he said.
“What we do know is that it is not supposed to be like this. A mother and father are not supposed to be burying their daughter. Two sisters and a brother are not supposed to be confronted by the death of one of their own at such a young age.
“A six-year-old Kya should not be burying her mother.”
Nadine was “beautiful, intelligent, caring and full of fun”, said the priest, who was assisted by Canon Pádraig Ó Cochláin and Fr David Brough. They were joined at the altar by the Rev Kevin Conroy of Arklow Church of Ireland parish.
Nadine's death raises a question. What are you going to do with your life for her memory?
Death would not have the last word, said Fr Murtagh. Nadine would go on living through Kya.
“The story ends with new life,” he said, “eternal, lasting life. It is the power, the hope, the resurrection.”
Nadine was 30 and Fr Murtagh addressed directly her friends and their generation.
“Nadine’s death raises a question,” he said to them. “What are you going to do with your life for her memory?”
‘Honest and decent’
The fitting response, he suggested, was to live a life that is “honest and decent and makes music for Nadine and the Lord”.
“Across the chasm of death, you have the power to make Nadine live,” he said.
He thanked Kya for inspiring him with a dance during the week and he wished for her when grown up “that your home is a safe and loving place”.
Sisters Tanith and Phoebe read a few short lines. “When your beating heart stopped beating, ours were broken too,” they said, adding, to Kya, “always remember to wish upon a star.”
As the men carried Nadine’s remains from the church and up to St Gabriel’s Cemetery, her mother and sisters followed, together with Kya, the little girl dressed in back and wearing a black bobble hat.
They walked past a sign outside the church – “Nadine: forever in our thoughts,” it said – and a large Christmas crib.
But there was no joy among the mourners. None at all.
