There they were on their stools, resting their elbows on the tables and speaking fearlessly to the people, for the people. The air crackled with courage and conviction around these noble tribunes: TDs Ciarán Cannon and Paul Connaughton junior of Fine Gael and Colm Keaveney and Micheal Kitt of Fianna Fáil. What a fine body of men.
True, the Fearless Four were sweating like nervous geldings during Vincent Browne's People's Debate in Athenry on Wednesday, but this was down to the television lights in the Raheen Woods Hotel rather than a clammy dread brought on by fear they might be asked a question by a female person about ladies' things while on air.
They had opinions on everything and were not afraid to state them, which is how it should be.
Until a young woman stood up and took the microphone. Her name flashed up on the screen: Anna Traynor.
“I just wanted to know which of the deputies are going to support a referendum to repeal the Eighth Amendment,” she began.
The brave blokes got an awful shock.
“Currently, eight to 10 women travel to Europe and, England every single day to get an abortion. This is something that is happening. It’s not an abstract idea,” said Ms Traynor. “This is happening; Irish women are doing it. I want to know if deputies will step up and change the current system which is failing women, and has since . . . since . . . forever.”
She sat down to hear their replies. Nothing. Abject silence from the Fearless Four. Connaughton and Kitt bowed their heads and started scribbling. Cannon and Keaveney gazed blankly into the distance. Browne tried to get an answer.
“Any of you in favour of changing? Repealing the Eighth Amendment?”
No response from these elected members of the national parliament, like contestants in a gormless competition with their big frightened Fr Dougal eyes.
Vincent checked for a pulse.
“Any of you in favour of doing that?”
Tumbleweed drifted through the ballroom.
Then Kitt, eyes lowered, shook his head slightly. Cannon looked at the others to see what they were doing. Kitt mumbled an indistinct “no” whereupon Cannon bravely followed with another, barely audible, “no”.
Neither of them looked at Vincent.
Nor did they look towards the young woman who had asked the initial question. It was awkward.
Keaveney, completely flustered, managed to stumble out, “It’s not party policy.”
Connaughton pretended he was somewhere else.
Not one of them had the balls to look Anna Traynor in the eye and address her question. The TDs’ lily-livered reaction was met with silence from the audience.
Browne moved on.
The Fearless Four looked relieved.
But a little later, another pesky woman in the audience discommoded them again.
“The lady here got a response to her very, very important issue. I’m both pro-choice and pro-life. There are situations where we have to have the availability of abortion: it’s a horrible, terrible thing for any woman to go through,” she said, adding in incredulous tones: “And the response from the panel was – just one voice – ‘not party policy?’
“What women have to do is: make it your own policy, because some of these guys are not going to do it for us.”
The audience applauded this time. The brave boys kept schtum and studied their shoes again.
But Messers Cannon, Connaughton, Kitt and Keaveney are far from unique among party politicians.
Perhaps the women of Ireland should borrow a phrase they’ll be hearing soon in Wimbledon and apply it at the next election . . .
New balls please!
Baby seal Howlin released into the wilds of Co Clare
Brendan Howlin was released into the wild yesterday. When his handlers let him out of the car, he ran skipping and laughing down to the sea. Happy out.
Thanks to a live link on the web, we watched as the Minister for Public Expenditure and Reform officially opened the marvellous new €6 million pier in the north Clare village of Doolin.
He kept clapping his hands and barking in delight, like a baby seal.
They don’t let him out too often. Enda is very strict about things like that. The Taoiseach likes to keep the front-of-house gigs to himself when it comes to making good news announcements.
But an election is on the way. Labour needs to get out and trumpet its achievements in government. Brendan is ideally placed to go on the plaque unveiling circuit because he’s the man who has sanctioned a lot of cheques for public works.
It was a bit blustery and showery in Doolin at midday yesterday when the Minister was released. Ideal conditions for a man who can extemporise with ease if his official script gets blown away.
The pier, which has been a long time coming, is being claimed by various political parties. The Clare Champion reported this week that local Fianna Fáil TD Timmy Dooley has proposed naming the new pier after the late Brian Lenihan in view of his connections to north Clare and because "he allocated €6 million for the development of the pier". This claim is disputed by Government deputies in the constituency who say that money was never ringfenced and it fell in the end to Howlin to find and sanction the funds.
Labour’s Michael McNamara (who was recently expelled from the parliamentary party for his stance on the future of Aer Lingus) dismissed Dooley’s suggestion as “opportunistic”.
The case for a new pier in Doolin – embarkation point for many tourists to the Aran Islands – has been hard fought for years at national level.
But it was Howlin who gave the money and with the pier coming in on time and on budget, he decided it was time to go out and do some launching. On Clare FM radio yesterday morning, he paid glowing tribute to himself and the Labour Party. But he also took the time to give his support to the prodigal TD McNamara.
The backbencher is still a member of the party and Howlin said that, on a personal level, he would like to see him returning to the fold and representing Labour at the next election.
Because Brendan doesn’t get out much, his habits are widely known. Everyone knows, for example, that Enda, in common with most of his Cabinet colleagues, is incapable of turning up on time to anything.
Howlin is an exception. “I’m notoriously on time for everything” confessed Brendan, before unveiling the plaque. “I’m always on time.”
Bank Inquiry 2: Return of the Politicians
Start stockpiling the popcorn. For those of us who don’t get out much, next month at the banking inquiry looks like box-office gold.
Former Fianna Fáil minister for finance, Champagne Charlie McCreevy, is pencilled in for an afternoon appearance on July 1st. Brian Cowen will be in on the day after. All day. He will be answering questions on his time as minister for finance. The inquiry then adjourns until the following week, when Cowen comes back on Wednesday the 8th to deal with events that took place when he was taoiseach.
Bertie Ahern is due in on the afternoon of July 16th.
There’s going to be a formidable foursome on the morning of the 23th, when Enda Kenny, Joan Burton, Richard Bruton and Pat Rabbitte are squeezed into the morning session.
And ending the entertainment with a bang on the 29th will be Mary Harney, John Gormley and Seánie FitzPatrick.