Parenting advice: Some parents may harbour, but rarely admit to, a belief that slapping children actually works - but there is not one shred of evidence that physical punishment is successful in stopping misbehaviour in the long term.
That's the verdict of one of Britain's most renowned parenting experts, child psychologist Dr Richard C. Woolfson.
He told a conference in Galway that, while smacking children might stop bad behaviour at that moment, it would not stop children repeating bad behaviour again and again.
Author of the recently published Why Do Kids Do that?, Dr Woolfson advised parents against comparing their child to his or her siblings - or to any other children - as this was always divisive and never worked.
"Avoid endless criticism of your child, get the message across without being entirely negative. For example, say something like, 'you normally behave so well which is why I am so surprised at the way you are behaving today', even if this is not true," he said.
He underlined the futility in threatening extreme punishment, such as "no presents at Christmas" or "no sweets ever again" - "threats you know you will never carry out".
He also warned parents not to blame themselves for their child's challenging behaviour.
"Accept it's not your fault or the child's fault - it's due to a combination of factors. Look for a solution instead."
Positive parents must think positive, he explained. They must believe in themselves and their skills as a parent, realise there is no such thing as a perfect parent and understand it's OK to be a good enough parent.
"Use praise to reward your children for good behaviour rather than focusing on punishing their bad behaviour. Instead of just barking at and reprimanding children, explain the consequences of their behaviour to them."
Dr Woolfson highlighted the importance of making each child feel special, whether in a family of one or 10, and of spending time alone with each child every day, even if it's only for five minutes.
Parents should also try to set a good example for their children which was possibly one of the hardest things to do, he felt - particularly when they were tired and stressed out themselves.
There were some basic principles in bringing up a child - every child should be loved and no child should have to live with fear of physical or emotional abuse.
"After that, a lot of it is down to the individual parent and child. There's no 'one size fits all' in terms of parenting. You need to be flexible, particularly with children over the age of five who are starting to think and feel independently. You have to adapt as they grow and change."
The conference was held by Galway City and County Childcare Committee in conjunction with the Western Health Board, at the weekend.
While there were many wonderful moments in bringing up children, Dr Woolfson said on a day-to-day basis, parenting could be difficult and at times seem all too much.
"Positive parenting is not about pretending everything is fine, that's a recipe for disaster.
"It's about developing strategies for managing your child in an effective way, about planning ahead and taking control. And it doesn't get easier as they get older, it just gets different."
Opening the conference, the Minister of State for Justice, Equality and Law Reform, Mr Frank Fahey, said he believed that if a child did not get the loving care and attention it deserved in its first 18 months, that child would be damaged for life.
"I am convinced most of those people in society who are causing such a lot of bother, both in this city and elsewhere in this country, are in that situation because they did not get the care they should have got as young children," he said.
