Directioners
What it means:You know you've made it in the pop world when a new word has to be invented to describe your fans. And UK boyband One Direction have definitely made it – their fans are universally known as Directioners. It's not quite as cool-sounding as Beliebers, but believe me, this cult of the cute is fast taking over. Don't be surprised if Directionism replaces Christianity soon, and we'll all be forced to worship at the temple of the X-Factor runners-up. Since One Direction have taken over the world, the Directioners population has mushroomed. To be a directioner, you must declare lifelong dedication to the fresh-faced quintet, and vow to vanquish all non-Directioners (or at least unfriend them on Facebook).
Where it comes from:It all began in the 1960s with the Deadheads, fans of beardy Haight-Ashbury noodlers The Grateful Dead, and continued in the 1980s with the rise of the Curehead. Most recently, Lady Gaga has spawned a sub-group of the human race known as Little Monsters. This is the year of the Directioner, but will they stick by their idols through their "difficult" second album, their "we want to be taken seriously" phase and their "middle-aged paunch" years? We'll see, but for the foreseeable future these single-minded fans will continue pointing their affection at One Direction.
How to say it:"It's okay, Mom, they're not Directioners at the door – just Jehovah's Witnesses."
