Go Tunisia:Backdrop to both the Punic Wars and 'Star Wars', Tunisia is a land of breathtaking beaches and desert oases, of amazing history and far-ranging curiosity. Just beware of the camels and the bankers, writes MAL ROGERS
A SINGLE security light can blot out a thousand stars; a line of street lights will obliterate an entire galaxy. It’s hard to see the Milky Way any more. But in the desert, as with most things, it’s utterly different. Here in the dark stillness of a Sahara night, constellations once familiar in Ireland are restored to their stellar glory. Meteorites regularly rip the sky apart, lighting up the rippling sand dunes.
The handy thing about Tunisia is that this sparse beauty is available even if you’re not overly intrepid. Surrounded by endless sands, it’s easy to imagine that a three-day mule trek got you here. In reality, a 40-minute four-wheel drive across the desert does the job. This is the Sahara for softies, the desert in a gift-wrapped package.
Just under four hours from Dublin, Tunisia has souks, medinas, Roman ruins, Greek heroes and desert treks – plus a cast ranging from Queen Dido to the Lotus Eaters. Oh, and if you hear a local say "Ee's not the saviour – ee's a verrry naughty boy," you'll remember that Life of Brianwas filmed here.
Over the centuries Tunisia has seen bother from Vandals, Arabs, Ottomans, Byzantines, Spaniards and les Français.
Before heading for the desert you might want to have a quick look at Carthage, the venue for handbags between Phoenicians and Romans, which is somewhat surprisingly located in a northern Tunis suburb. An insatiable interest in stone columns will serve you well here. And should the site’s exhaustive collection (about 700) begin to pall, great views of Tunis Bay are on hand.
Of course, Tunis Bay and the Mediterranean are the big attractions for visitors – whether those indominatable traders the Phoenicians or today’s well-heeled Europeans looking for a lyin’ and fryin’ break. With a bit of ancient history and cosmopolitan elan thrown in, it’s probably as impressive a seaside as you’ll come across a few hours from O’Connell Street.
The weather in this most liberal of African cities is ideal if you think life is a beach. You might want to avoid August, mind, when temperatures soar to about gas mark six, or the dead of winter, when it can be surprisingly cold and wet. Otherwise, expect a fine soft day between 30 and 35 degrees.
The weather in the desert is vastly different. But you’ll already have guessed that. To survive in the Sahara, they say, you have to be tough, wise or mad. Being a journalist, I could at least lay claim to one of those characteristics, so it was off to Djerba, an hour’s flight away. This is the first leg of our odyssey – and I use the word advisedly. Djerba is the land of the Lotus Eaters, where Ulysses stopped off on his odyssey.
Today it’s a laid-back island – linked to the mainland by a Roman causeway – with beaches, restaurants, wellness centres and pamper hotels.
Such are the natural charms of Djerba that Ulysses had a fair bit of trouble shooing his crew back on board. Today’s Djerba islanders are said to be the descendants of these malingerers, who subsequently lived out their lives in indolence, drugged by the legendary honeyed fruit.
Lest the same fate befell us, our official guide, Lilia, loaded us into the 4x4. “Our driver doesn’t like driving in the dark,” she explained. This was a poor excuse. Or, to paraphrase Blackadder, this was not one of the most cunning excuses thought up by a cunning fox who was Professor of Cunning at Carthage University.
Our Berber driver, whose name sounded like Hamish but probably wasn’t, came from an ancestral line that stretches back to Neolithic times. His forebears would have eked out a harsh yet elegant living in these marginal lands. Hamish could probably have made his way through the Sahara blindfolded. The idea that he was reluctant to be abroad after dark kept us in contented good spirits all day.
In the daylight he certainly knew his way. Soon the road ran out – but we continued to bowl across talcum-powder Sahara dunes at 100km/h. Hamish pulled up at our first herd of camels so we could marvel at the sight. Hundreds of the humpy devils.
The herdsman, a wanderer cocooned in his brown woollen burnous, approached our wagon. Hamish spoke to him in Berber (possibly warning him to get home before dark), then gave him a bottle of water. It’s so dry here even the camels use moisturiser. I think.
Before reaching our final desert destination we headed towards the sun-stunned mountain village of Chenini. Here, and in nearby Douiret and Guermessa, the Berber people live as they have done for millennia. The only difference is the tourists – and these are merely herded up the hill in the same way as the goats and sheep.
Worth it, though. The views from the top of the village are epic – eager guides are happy to point out the ancient troglodyte villages hewn out of the bare rocks; you can even stay in a hôtel troglodyte. Others show us where Star Wars was filmed – and would we like to buy a Star Warscarpet? Obi-Wan would have nodded wisely.
We’re on the move again, towards the oasis of Ksar Ghilane, where a night under canvas threatens. Bedouin and breakfast. No need to worry, though: our digs are canvas domes with marble floors, double bed, ensuite bathroom and climate control. Outside, surrounded by lush palm groves and tamarisk trees, the swimming pool is immensely inviting. Bleak chic at its finest.
An observation tower in the centre of the oasis gives a 360-degree view of the desert – 380 if you include the mirages. Shadowless sands stretch to the horizon; the paucity of water ensures not even a bush grows beyond the oasis perimeter.
Although the bar here boasts a wine list that could put many an Irish restaurant to shame, a modest night’s carousing wasn’t on the cards: we were off on a trek through the ethereal landscape of the Sahara the next day, walking in the footsteps of pilgrims and prophets.
I would happily have settled for a brisk drive in the 4x4, but Lilia – our official guide: please try to keep up – was adamant that I would enjoy a jaunt on a dromedary.
With three camels in tow, we left the oasis as the first rays of sun began to split the desert sky. The camel handlers treated their charges with respect. Nobody petted the animals. “They hate everyone,” said the herdsman, and indeed camels in general are not terribly biddable, apparently. This says little for their application to task – they are among Africa’s longest-domesticated animals. But whatever their shortcomings in matters of discipline, they certainly look the business silhouetted against the backdrop of this beguiling wilderness.
Depending on the day that’s in it, there is a variety of ways to get the Sahara’s sands on your soles. Camel-riding, horse-trekking and moonlit walks all set out from Ksar Ghilane; for the less energetic, 4x4s are on standby. Or you can just opt for a day on a lounger under the shade of the oleanders, breathe in the clear desert air and contemplate the apricot-coloured dunes. Before dinner, order a cocktail, listen to local musicians and watch the sun slip behind the sands of north Africa.
This awesome terrain has grandeur, beauty, spirituality even – it’s surely no coincidence that the great religions of Christianity, Judaism and Islam arose out of the desert.
Our route east from Ksar Ghilane eventually crosses Chott el Jerid, a magnificent salt lake some 70km long. The hooded eyes of the tireless Hamish never leave the unmade track. But soon the desert scrubland turns into olive plantations, and donkeys and carts begin to appear – as does, suddenly, a school.
We’re at the ramshackle oasis town of Tozeur. Time for a snack, and there’s a big choice. If you fancy eating on the hoof, the Tunisian version of the breakfast roll is the casse croûte, a French loaf stuffed with lamb, fried egg, olive-oil salad and harissa, the ubiquitous fiery sauce. Or you could try the akoud, a stew of bull’s testicles, penis and entrails (not as nice as it sounds).
Tozeur is probably the place to stock up on local swag, with Berber bling available throughout the town. Unlike other souks, where there seems endless possibilities for bother, Tozeur’s market has a laid-back atmosphere. So laid back, in fact, that I bargained with a stallholder in the market for a silk scarf that I rather fancied (souks you, sir). I beat him down to an unbelievable six dinars (€3.25), thereby saving something in the region of €4. I was delighted. Maybe later I’d go for some of those natty embroidered desert shoes . . . all at knockdown prices.
I sauntered down the road well pleased with myself – then thought, hold on a second, I’ve just cheated some poor Berber out of €4. Which probably represented a good part of his family’s budget. You utter gobdaw. “But the mills of Allah grind slowly, though they grind exceeding small,” or so it is written.
Actually, not that slowly. A short time later I changed some euro at the main bank in Tozeur. I wasn’t to find out until I returned to Tunis airport that the banker had given me several dud notes. Tunisia’s bankers are evidently on a par with those in parts of Europe. My plans to write to the stallholder enclosing €10 were shelved.
This slice of colour has done little to dent my enthusiasm for Tunisia. I’ve been to one of the most liberal countries in north Africa – always something of an advantage if you lead a fairly dissolute lifestyle – eaten the finest of food, drunk very passable wines and stayed in some remarkably sophisticated tents.
I’ve seen a land that has been scarred by everything from the Punic Wars to Star Wars, and although it’s tourist-orientated there seems to be a general assumption of goodwill towards visitors, with the odd exception.
The bank’s website is, I believe, www.wesawyoucoming.com, should you need its services next time you’re in Tozeur.
** Mal Rogers was a guest of Sunway
Where to stay, where to eat and where to go
Where to stay
The Residence. 2070 La Marsa, Les Cotes de Carthage, 00-216-71-910101,
www.theresidence.com. Five-star luxury in this top-notch Tunis hotel.
Pansea Ksar Ghilane. Sahara, 00-216-75-759330, www.pansea.com. Oasis-set desert tents form the most remote and memorable BB you'll ever experience. Doubles from €120.
Hotel Marhala. Off the main square, Matmata, 00-216-75-240015. Top-of-the range underground hotel. Twenty-four cosy rooms with shared bathroom.
Radisson SAS Resort Thalasso. Zone Touristique, Djerba, 00-216-75-757600, www.djerba.radissonsas.com. A luxury hotel on the island of Djerba. Well-equipped with palm trees and sand, with various breaks up its sleeve – a package costs from €195 per person for two nights, or you could go for two days of golf and wellness, from €434 per person for two nights.
Dar Said. Sidi Bou Said, 00-216-71-729666, www.darsaid.com.tn. The Dar Said is a rambling mansion in Sidi Bou Said. Expect bougainvillea in the courtyard and startling views of the village sweeping down to the sea. Doubles from €170.
Villa Didon. 2016 Carthage Byrsa, 00-261-71-733433, www.villadidon.com. On the side of the huge Roman site at Byrsa Hill, this is a boutique hotel of the grandest proportions, with views once surveyed by Hannibal and Dido. Marble-Jacuzzi-in-your-room type of place. Doubles from €235.
Where to eat
Chez Nous. 5 Rue de Marseille, Tunis, 00-216-71-254043. A long-established Tunis institution whose diners have included Edith Piaf and Marcel Marceau. Desserts are excellent – a piece of cake to Marcel, as it were.
Dar Hammouda Pacha (Restaurant Salon de Thé). 56 Rue Sidi Ben Arous, Médina (La Kasbah), Tunis 1006, 00-216-71-566584. One of the best restaurants in Tunis, situated in a candlelit courtyard in a 17th-century mansion. Very good Sufi musicians add to the general feeling of well-being.
Au Bon Vieux Temps. 56 Rue Hedi, Sidi Bou Said, 00-216-71-744733. A romantic, atmospheric restaurant with a terrace overlooking Tunis Bay. As you sigh over the view, tuck into the Mediterranean- Tunisian fare – don't miss the local langoustines and scallops.
Restaurant Carthage. Avenue Mohammed Badra, Houmt Souk, Djerba. A small, excellent cafe-restaurant that specialises in Tunisian pizzas. A terrific place for coffee. I told the waiter I liked my espresso the way I like my entendres – double. So off he went and brought me back a wonderful Tunisian caffeine fix.
Le Soleil. 58 Avenue Abou Elkacem Echebbi, 00-216-76-46128. Traditional Tunisian cuisine, with a wide choice of meat dishes, such as lamb cooked in a terracotta jar (gargoulette) and grilled camel.
Where to go
Bardo Museum. Bardo 2000, Tunis, 00-216-71-513650. The museum is an architectural landmark, originally being a 13th-century Hafsid palace. Tinkered with over the centuries, the bulk of what remains was constructed in the 17th and 18th centuries. Among its vaulted ceilings, galleries and cupolas stands one of the finest collection of Roman mosaics in the world.
Sidi Bou Said. This whitewashed coastal resort on the outskirts of Tunis, bedecked in bougainvillea and jasmine, is one of the most beautiful villages on the Mediterranean. Houses are dazzling white with deep blue doors and shutters, and there are excellent view across the Gulf of Tunis. An exceptionally suitable place for a seafood lunch or afternoon (mint) tea.
The Red Lizard Train. The beautifully restored wagons of Le Lézard Rouge, dating from 1904, once belonged to the bey (king) of Tunis. Today it is entirely given over to tourists taking the belle epoque train from the town of Metlaoui on a journey through Seldja Gorge – a silent world of extreme geology. Bare purple rocks, surreal orange crags, plunging canyons. En voiture!
A last resort
The resorts of Hammamet, Sousse, Monastir and Mahdia are an engaging mix of marinas, medinas, beaches, bars, fishing harbours and souks. They offer sunbathing, snorkelling, scuba-diving, wind-surfing, para-gliding and sandcastle-building.