You might arrive with a certain cynicism about the Mouse House, but you'll leave with your senses all a-Buzz Lightyear, writes Kevin Courtney
IT’S THE FIRST weekend in November, and snow is falling all around us. A giant Christmas tree towers above us, oversized presents piled up underneath. Christmas songs waft all around us – and look! There’s Santa on his sleigh, surrounded by all his little elves. Looks like Christmas really has come early this year.
But wait – that snow looks very, er, sudsy, and that Santa looks a little odd, more like Goofy than Father Christmas. Is this a dream?
Actually, yes, it is – packaged and wrapped up with ribbons and bows by the dream weavers at Disney. Nice job, guys: I almost believed the snow was real, but Santa didn’t fool me for one minute – I know it’s really Goofy.
We’re in Disneyland Paris, the European epicentre of dreams, and the four of us – two adults and two small children – are staring wide-eyed at the seasonal spectacle before us, and breathing in what must be dangerous levels of festive spirit. At this rate, we’ll all have to check into yuletide rehab by early December.
You have to hand it to Disney – they sure know how to spend Christmas. While the rest of the world tones down the festivities in line with our straitened finances, the Disney folk are going all out to whip up some Christmas cheer and send Scrooge packing to Never Never Land. And d’you know what – it’s such a crazy idea, it just might work.
Paris may be a long way from Lapland, but Disney’s Enchanted Christmas is designed to bring visitors closer to the North Pole – and a safe distance from grim reality. Over the launch weekend, we were bombarded with happy bullets from all corners of the magic kingdom, and I’m not ashamed to say we went down without a fight. You might arrive with a certain cynicism about the Mouse House, but you’ll leave with your senses all a-Buzz Lightyear. And if you can nab one of their special offers, the only thing not left lighter than air may be your pocket.
Not being in possession of fairy wings or magic carpets, we relied on Air France to whisk us on our enchanted weekend. We found them the best value for Dublin to Paris: Aer Lingus didn’t seem to be able to compete price-wise, and Ryanair dump you 130km away from Disney – sure you’d spend most of your weekend getting there and back. On board Air France, it feels altogether less shrill – they don’t charge for the snack, and they don’t march up and down the aisle trying to sell you scratch cards and other ephemera.
Getting to Disney from the airport is easy – just take the navette or shuttle bus, tell them which hotel you’re at, and sit back and watch the Disney promo video. Golf? No thanks – I’m swinging more towards the Aerosmith rock’n’rollercoaster.
We stayed at the four-star Hotel New York – all done up like a cartoon Waldorf Astoria, complete with art-deco touches, bellhops (hmm, wonder do they expect New York-style tips?) and a Rockefeller Plaza-style ice rink. The look of wonder on three-year-old Daniel’s face when he met Mickey and Pluto in the lobby! The look of terror on one-year-old Matthew’s face! The cheesy look of pride on daddy’s face!
THERE ARE two main parks to explore: Disneyland Park – divided into areas such as Fantasyland, Discoveryland, Adventureland and Frontierland – and Walt Disney Studios Park, with attractions themed around Disney movies. This year they’ve added a new area, Toy Story Playland, where you are supposedly the size of a toy. You walk under a giant, imposing Buzz Lightyear, take a parachute drop with the toy soldiers, take a zigzag ride on Slinky Dog, and swing like a pendulum on RC Racer.
Since we’re with toddlers, we’re restricted to the relatively tame Slinky Dog, but Disney do have a “child switch” scheme which allows parents to take turns on a thrill ride without having to queue a second time. We found our own solution: hook up with another couple with small children – that way the daddies can look after the kids while the mummies go on Space Mountain, and then the mummies can mind the kids while the daddies duck into the pub.
Thrilling and all as Space Mountain is, it’s nothing compared to that tug in your chest when you watch your small ones (and their mummy) staring in awe at the cavalcade of colour that is It’s A Small World. It may be the most sedate and most culturally stereotyping attraction in Disney – but it’s also the most magical boat ride you’ll take this year, believe me. The sight of myriad marionettes, dressed in costumes from all corners of the world, dancing and singing Christmas songs to you as you float by – well, you might just be convinced it’s a wonderful world after all.
Our three-year-old found Peter Pan’s Flight slightly scary – it may have been the combination of darkness, crocodiles and Captain Hook – but he became a fearless space ranger at Buzz Lightyear’s Laser Blast, happily zapping robots, aliens and the evil Zurg with his “razor gun”.
Every day at 5pm over the Christmas period, all the Disney favourites turn out on Main Street USA for the Once Upon a Dream Parade, including Mickey and his clubmates, The Lion King and Jungle Book characters, Buzz and Woody et al, Pooh and friends, Cinderella, Aladdin and more fairies and princesses than you can shake a wand at.
That's followed by a spectacular tree-lighting ceremony. It's like having Christmas spirit on tap. Santa has set up his workshop in Frontierland for the Christmas period, and he's also opened a post office there, so the kids can drop off their letters to him – festive paper, pens and envelopes supplied. More Christmas charm can be found in Belle's Christmas Village, hosted by the stars of Beauty and The Beast.
You may prefer to meticulously plan your day in Disney, in order to max out on the rides without missing out on the scheduled parades and cavalcades; or you may just prefer to stroll around and take in the hyper- real atmosphere. If you’re in the former camp, then you’d be advised to do a bit of pre-planning via the website; or you can download Disney’s new iPhone app and really get your bearings (see panel below).
There’s no shortage of pit stops for your little racers to refuel – both parks are well served with restaurants, though most of them are of the fast-food variety, while some do buffet. Your Disney app will give you a better flavour of what each restaurant offers. We had a pretty basic fish’n’chips lunch at Toad Hall in Fantasyland, but the next day we had a great buffet lunch of salmon and Dover sole at the Restaurant des Stars in Walt Disney Studios Park. Watch out, though, when the chef brings the cheese trolley – Ratatouille may be lurking beneath the silver cloche.
THE SNOW may have been fake, but the rain on the weekend we were there was all too real. Make sure you have suitable rain gear and comfy shoes to keep out water – you don't want to look like sodden festivalgoers at Oxegen. When the rain gets too relentless, a good idea is to duck into one of the many indoor kids' shows, such as Stitch Live, Fantasy Festival Stageor Playhouse Disney. Check the schedule for English-language versions.
There’s no denying it: a weekend at Disney can be a real test of parents’ stamina – and patience. We had the advantage of VIP fast passes, and Disney opened some of the attractions for us at night – there’s something extra magical about strolling around the park at nighttime, with Sleeping Beauty’s Castle creating a brightly illuminated centrepiece.
We arrived back in reality exhausted and with a slight headache from all the lights, animation and activity, but the headache soon goes while the memories stay bright. Only problem is the kids may not readjust so readily: a week after our trip, I brought the little ones down to my local shopping centre to see the Christmas Polar Bear display. Having seen his favourite cartoon characters come to life, I don’t think Daniel was quite so impressed by the bears this time round. After Disney, reality may seem a bit of a disappointment.
An app for that
NOW THERE’S an alternative to schlepping around Disneyland with a dog-eared map. You can just pull out your iPhone and plan your day.
Disney’s new iPhone app fulfils one vital requirement of a good app – it’s useful. You can download it free prior to your visit to check opening hours, make advance bookings and get recommended itineraries.
While you’re there, the app becomes really useful, allowing you to pinpoint your position in the park via geolocation, check waiting times at each attraction and set reminders for particular events you want to catch.
* Kevin Courtney was a guest of Disneyland Paris and Air France