What it means:Funny how girl things suddenly become guy things, at the slightest whim of a marketing exec. We've been asked to tote manbags, dab guyliner and manscara round our piggy eyes, and put Muggs (male Uggs) on our big feet. Now we are expected to roll mantyhose, brosiery and guylons over our hairy legs and knobbly knees. A website called e-mancipate has all the mantyhose you need for work, socialising or just lounging around at home with your (very understanding) partner. But let's face it, guys, unless you're a male member of the Bolshoi ballet, or starring in a remake of Robin Hood – Men in Tights, what do you need mantyhose for? To keep warm? Give me a break.

Where it comes from:Funny how, when a marketing person decides to sell girly stuff to men, they talk as if men have been screaming out for powder puff and lace push-up bras. Now we are given to believe that men's lives have been empty before the arrival of mantyhose.

Don’t fall for it, guys. You’ll hear a lot about how it’s the latest move in a female conspiracy to completely emasculate us, but I suspect it’s simpler than that – the makers of feminine products just want to tap into that other 50 per cent of the market and get us to open our man-purses for something we neither need nor should be seen dead in.

How to say it: "We need to sell more mantyhose to the over-50s – tell 'em it'll prevent deep-vein thrombosis."