Problem: I am very competent, doing my work very thoroughly, I am also very considered in how I conduct my days and I used to feel that I contributed well to the overall success of the organisation.

In the last few months, someone has been hired above me, but they cannot do the job because they come in from elsewhere: they are doing the job three days a week and are skimming over their work.

They are using my work and taking credit for it. I went for this management position and did not get it but I am now caught in a position where I am doing the work but not getting the reward. It’s worse than that, someone else is getting the recognition that I deserve.

I really enjoy the organisation, everything is really good about it and I cannot let the clients down. So I am continuing to deliver because if I stop, the business will stop. This is hugely affecting my life and I am afraid that my sense of confidence and value will fall even further if I do nothing.

Because I failed at the interview for promotion, I am afraid that I will not be able to get another job and I know I am becoming more pessimistic and angry. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think of is dread that I have to work with this sly and sneaky person.

Advice: There are a number of issues here: you failed to get the promotion and when you work for that organisation this hurts and it takes time to recover; you sound as though you are obsessing about your new manager and this is causing you great distress; and finally it seems as though you need to take a hard look at your career and make some changes.

As always, a crisis brings opportunity and you can use this time of feeling angry and pessimistic to take the opportunity to look at your life and make some changes.

It is obvious that you like the career you are in so this direction is right for you but you failed to get promoted and this needs to be investigated so that you can progress elsewhere.  Did you ask for feedback from your interview?  Is the need in the area of knowledge or experience or is it in the area of competence at interviews?

This needs to be addressed by you so that you can feel confident in opening more possibilities in your working life. Look at your new manager, does this person have skills that you don’t have?  Are they good at delegation, people management or do they have more experience?  All these skills can be learned but you first need to identify exactly what it is that you lack.

The danger here is that you now blame your manager for all your negative feelings and you are obsessing about this: waking up thinking about this and dreading going to work is a suffering that you can do something about.

Is this person really responsible for your feelings?  If you think this is true you will only feel good about your work again when your manager has been discovered to be incompetent and sacked. The likelihood of this happening is slim so you need to take charge of yourself again and not attach your success or well-being to how another person is doing.

What might be useful is to ask if you are improving in your work compared to this time last year. If the answer is no, then you need to do something about it.

Taking action

Feeling good about what we do with our eight to 10 hours of work per day is a very important component in our lives, and this depends on the value you place on your work and on your competence.

You say that you think the business will stop if you leave and this is curtailing you from taking action – this is a dangerous thought and one that you might need to test.  What happens if you take holidays for two to three weeks?

It might be worth doing this to test your theory and to free you up to look outside your current organisation for meaningful work.

The break might also offer you the opportunity to recover from your shock and unhappiness at not getting promoted and begin to allow some healing.  Your lack of confidence is stemming from the belief that you are stuck and someone else is responsible, but this is not true.

Take charge of your own fate, get some expertise to help you with whatever you need to improve on and begin the journey towards a new position or organisation.

If you feel strongly enough that your manager is incompetent, there are procedures for you to register a complaint in the organisation and if your complaint is upheld you will ultimately be doing your organisation a favour.

However, before embarking on this road, you will need to feel confident about yourself.