Q My nephew is eight and is going into second class; he will be nine in February. It was thought after junior infants that he would benefit from another year so he repeated junior infants.
Over the past two years he developed optic neuritis, which has damaged his eyesight. He has been in hospital for long periods on four occasions. Thankfully, it seems that through steroids and other medications the condition is finally under control for the moment and he has not had an attack since October. He is still on medication but has been doing well otherwise. He has missed some school days this year but his attendance is at 85 per cent.
In school, because he does not have full sight in his right eye, he has a special monitor at his desk to allow him to see the whiteboard. A special needs assistant (SNA), who is allocated to another child in the class, is on hand if needed.
He had an OT assessment and has had resource teaching throughout the year, particularly for help with handwriting; a report last week from the resource teacher was positive about his progress.
However, for second class, his class of 29 is being split into 1st/2nd and 2nd/3rd. The split has been done by age and so the older children are moving to 2nd/3rd. My nephew is the oldest in the class but is not moving up with his best friends. My sister spoke to the principal, who said my nephew was not moving up to 2nd/3rd because his monitor and supports will be in the 1st/2nd classroom and so will the SNA, whose help he may need from time to time. The principal believes my nephew will benefit from this extra support system.
My nephew is very upset because he knows the split has been made according to age and that he is the oldest. My sister asked me what to do. My instinct was to tell her that these things happen and that she should sell the situation to my nephew as no big deal, explain to him that he needs to be where the monitor is and he will still see his other friends at break and for Communion class. My thought was that if it was treated as a small matter by adults, he would come to think of it as a small matter and learn to cope.
However, I can see how he might benefit from keeping things from changing drastically and perhaps a slower learning pace in 1st/2nd, but his school report suggested, and I can see, that his main problem is a lack of confidence and that he needs to build his confidence. I wonder whether this split will damage his confidence further. If the split is being made on age grounds, perhaps my sister should argue that he should be moved up with his monitor.
I understand it is difficult to comment on such an intricate situation without a fuller picture but I really am at a loss. My gut tells me he needs to learn to believe “I can” instead of “I can’t” and that keeping him in 1st/2nd will not help this, but I also see that as he needs the extra supports, the 1st/2nd might be a more supportive environment.
I would normally go along with the school, saying "they know best", and say it is not a big deal. But I wonder if this is an occasion where I should advise my sister to talk to the principal again and say no, this will do more damage.
A What could be at the core of this situation is that your sister feels a major decision has been made about her son’s schooling without involving her in the process, and without considering all the options and implications. The hope is that, as you say, “school knows best”, but maybe there are other possibilities for his parents and the school to weigh up and discuss before arriving at a final decision.
The bottom line is that the class had to be split on some basis. They could have picked names from a hat, done it alphabetically or based it on academic ability.
Unfortunately, doing it by age and then putting him in the younger class draws attention to your nephew and makes him the exception. As the eldest in the class, he might already be sensitive about his age.
Another issue is that children merging with first class are seen to be staying back, while the older ones are moving on. This is not the case, as they will be following the same curriculum for second class, but this is the language being used. The impression of staying back has been created and this could be another sensitive area for a little boy who has already repeated a class.
The issue of greater supports being available in the 1st/2nd class seems to be the main factor in the school’s decision. The monitor alone is probably not that big a deal as it could be moved or the classrooms swapped around to accommodate it. What seems to be the deciding factor is the availability of an SNA when he occasionally needs a bit of extra help. This is a bit tricky because the SNA is allocated in relation to another child in the younger group and, therefore, needs to stay in the same classroom as them. Possibly the school (and maybe also the Department of Education) sees this current arrangement with your nephew as the most practical and cost-efficient way of meeting both sets of needs. The school obviously feels he will continue to benefit from SNA support but your sister might need to clarify just how vital this support is.
Another argument is that it might make him more self-reliant and increase his independence and self-esteem if he could move on and manage alone. These are all issues to be decided in consultation with the school.
There are obviously many practical issues to be sorted out but your nephew’s best interests should be at the heart of any decision. His older age and his negative perception of repeating or being held back are very specific issues for him and the school should be encouraged to come up with a solution that does not draw attention to either issue. He is a little boy whose medical experiences and ongoing visual problems are likely to have shaken his confidence and it would be ideal if disruption and upset could be kept to a minimum and he is allowed to stay with his friends.
One solution is that the school could drop the age cut-off and assign children randomly to classes. They might also consider placing the other child, their SNA and your nephew in the older class.
Your sister should arrange a meeting with the principal to go through all her concerns and discuss all the possible options. It would be a good idea to make a list of all her points before the meeting. She could also request that a family member, such as you, accompanies her.
Meanwhile, over the summer you could all use the time to work on your nephew’s confidence; highlighting his strengths, giving him opportunities to shine and teaching him about resilience and how confidence comes from within. The scouts, karate and some creative outlet such as music, art or dance are all great ways of boosting confidence and skills, and there are lots of online resources available for parents.
If low confidence continues to remain an issue at home and in school, his mum might consider seeking professional input through the National Educational Psychology Services (NEPS) or local HSE services.
Dr Sarah O’Doherty is a child clinical psychologist. John Sharry is away.