As regular listeners will attest, Drivetime (RTÉ Radio 1, weekdays) isn’t a programme for those of a delicate disposition. A strong stomach is required to digest a daily diet that can include harrowing testimony from war zones and unflinching discussion of distressing subjects, not to mention the Fozzie Bear-level humour of its cohost Cormac Ó hEadhra.
On Tuesday, however, the presenter makes a rare concession to the sensitivities of his audience, as he tackles a trauma-inducing subject: potty-training techniques.
Discussing the rising age of children being toilet trained – a trend, seemingly – Ó hEadhra hears a paediatric nurse, Ann Costigan, outline a taxonomy of childhood waste, from “rabbit droppings” to “big poos”, as well as tips on optimising potty use.
This proves too much for the host. “I’m sure people are saying this is a lovely conversation at teatime,” he says with a chuckle before continuing anyway. “We’re talking about kiddies here, that’s the excuse,” he adds by way of mitigation.
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In truth, the chat is unlikely to ruffle anyone who’s ever encountered a full nappy. And although it would have been interesting to hear more on the environmental impact of disposable diapers, Ó hEadhra is correct in his oddly phrased praise of Costigan as “a locomotive of knowledge”. Though, to be fair, he can’t really say she knows her shit.
If the host shows concern for his listeners, he doesn’t always pay heed to the feelings of his guests. When the TG4 presenter Caitríona Ní Chualáin details the challenges of securing a home in the Connemara Gaeltacht – her planning applications have been rejected – one might expect Ó hEadhra, a fellow native Irish speaker, to evince some sympathy.
“It’s so important to me that I do live in a Gaeltacht, and I think that should be taken into consideration,” says Ní Chualáin. “Why?” the host asks curtly. “There are an awful lot of people who would love to live in their own area but don’t get to.”
It seems a sharp response, but it yields an intriguing discussion on how best to balance planning laws in remote Gaeltacht areas with measures to sustain Irish-speaking communities. Neither host nor guest has a ready solution, but with Seachtain na Gaeilge in full swing, it’s a multithemed issue that merits discussion, even as Béarla.
It’s a model of decorum compared with the testy atmosphere on Wednesday’s show, when Ó hEadhra’s fellow anchor, Sarah McInerney, hears the former Labour Party adviser Fergus Finlay and Senator Tom Clonan ill-temperedly debate Ireland’s neutrality.
Things start off civilly enough, with Finlay expanding on his newspaper column calling for our neutral status to be dropped after Donald Trump’s extraordinary defenestration of Volodymyr Zelenskiy, the Ukrainian president. “We have no choice but to show common cause,” he says.
The Senator, a former army officer, disagrees. Ireland has “shouldered the wheel”, he says, not just in peacekeeping missions but also in peace-enforcement deployments in war-torn spots such as Afghanistan. Clonan adds that Finlay’s column contains several inaccuracies, which doesn’t add to the congeniality.
But things really heat up when Clonan dismisses his fellow guest’s assertion that Ireland needs to contribute more militarily. “You’ve never served,” he pointedly says to Finlay. “We should not commit lightly.” Amplifying the point, he recalls that young officers such as himself would characterise gung-ho old generals as “feather dusters”.
When Finlay reacts indignantly to this imputation – “It’s desperately unworthy of you” – Clonan disparages the “manufactured outrage” of his opposite number.
By now the whiff of cordite in the studio is strong enough to warrant a UN peacekeeping mandate of its own. But, rather than intervene, McInerney largely stands off as the spat escalates, the better to elaborate the complex issues – and, let’s be honest, relish the radio gold.
It’s a notable segment nonetheless, underlining the strong emotions stirred by Ireland’s tradition of neutrality, while also suggesting that any argument on the matter may not be guided by rational assessment of the risks on either side. (By contrast, the case for acquiring a squadron of modern fighter jets is made in quietly persuasive fashion by a former Air Corps pilot, Kevin Phipps, on RTÉ Radio 1’s Morning Ireland; even its reliably sceptical host, Mary Wilson, sounds as if she might be swayed.)
But one suspects it’s a debate that will only intensify as the world grows ever more unstable. To borrow a phrase, it’s squeaky-bum time.
Things are far blander – sorry, calmer – on The Hard Shoulder (Newstalk, weekdays), when Kieran Cuddihy interviews Minister for Education Helen McEntee about plans to boost Deis funding for schools in the poorest parts of the country. The new scheme aims to build on the supports of the existing programme, which McEntee says have helped to close gaps in educational achievement by children from disadvantaged areas.
It’s very laudable, with terms such as “synergy” bandied about. But when talk turns to increased absenteeism in such schools, McEntee’s platitudinous explanations draw the kind of ominous murmuring that habitually prefaces a shivving by the host.
“I don’t want to relitigate Covid,” Cuddihy duly ventures, “but I wonder is it a consequence of convincing people that it was okay for schools to be closed for so long?” It’s a fair question, and hardly unexpected, but McEntee appears faintly blindsided: “I think there’s lots of different reasons.” Which there likely are, though her noncommittal answer sounds evasive.
The host isn’t done. He asks why there’s a €9 million Government tender to buy mobile-phone pouches when schools already have their own strategies to prevent pupils using devices: “I haven’t managed to unearth a single stakeholder who lobbied in favour of the measure.”
Again, McEntee’s vague reply – “Sometimes you have to be innovative” – doesn’t convince, prompting Cuddihy to suggest his guest should be humble enough to scrap a “daft idea”. (The Minister dutifully backs her predecessor Norma Foley, who originated the idea.)
It’s an encounter to forget for McEntee, even if it is as nothing compared with the poisonous insults she endured as minister for justice. But it’s also a reminder that more than monotonously aspirational soundbites are required in a portfolio that affects so many people directly. Cuddihy’s interview could provide a salutary lesson.
Moment of the week
Anyone considering the use of the weight-loss drug Ozempic to shed a few kilos should listen to Liveline (RTÉ Radio 1, weekdays) as Joe Duffy hears about “the skinny jab”. Callers attest to the drug’s efficacy in lessening obesity, but they highlight problems such as high cost and low availability. “It was like looking for heroin down here,” says Rhonda, who buys it in the North.
But the personal effects are even more alarming. Miriam talks about veering between constipation and diarrhoea, with nausea thrown in. And there’s more: “The most horrific side effect for me was that you get these eggy burps.” When weighing up the pros and cons, that’s something you can’t unhear.
