One suspects that any teenager worth his or her salt would spurn something called the Teen Choice Awards. That jaunty title hints at balloons, pop hits and parental supervision.

At any rate, in some scary universe, these particular gongs – handed out in LA this week – signify the very earliest beginnings of the increasingly bloated awards season.

The big winner was, perhaps inevitably, a juvenile wizard picture. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1– the final one will be eligible next year – beat off competition from Twilight: Eclipseto secure the best movie and best sci-fi/fantasy titles.

The gruesomely named Choice Movie Liplock (we think that means “kiss”) went to Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson from that same project.

Something called Draco Malfoy was voted best villain.

To be fair to the kids, they awarded best drama gong to Black Swan, a film featuring deranged mothers and hot lesbian action.

Maybe the award ceremony isn’t quite so pallid after all.