Allegiant review: There's so much to dislike, it’s hard to know where to start

Featuring the drippiest couple in popular culture since the Care Bears, the latest Divergent movie could hardly be worse if it tried

PIck a side: Zoe Kravitz in The Divergent Series: Allegiant
PIck a side: Zoe Kravitz in The Divergent Series: Allegiant
The Divergent Series: Allegiant
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Director: Robert Schwentke
Cert: 12A
Genre: Fantasy
Starring: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Naomi Watts, Octavia Spencer, Jeff Daniels, Zoe Kravitz, Ansel Elgort, Miles Teller, Keiynan Lonsdale
Running Time: 2 hrs 0 mins

In some unimaginably horrible future, movie audiences will be forced to watch endless generic dystopian fantasies whose only point of consistency is a determination to end their titles with “ent”. Hang on! We’re here! Excuse me while I fall screaming into a gaping off-the-peg CGI ravine.

Following Detergent and Astringent (yes, we did this joke last time), Allegiant continues the series' addiction to defying its own shaky philosophies. Breaking continuity in ways we can't be bothered to describe, Tris (Shailene Woodley) and Four (Theo James) – the drippiest couple in popular culture since the Care Bears – are propelled into the world beyond the wall. An apocalypse has taken place. Red stuff falls from the sky. Red stuff flows through poisoned rivers.

Happily, they soon encounter a high-tech city ruled by a man named David (Jeff Daniels). I can only assume that we are supposed to believe – for a few seconds anyway – that the metropolis is a potential Utopia, but only the dimmest viewer will fail to suspect a looming betrayal. The officials are so poker-faced. The regulations are so draconian. Most tellingly, Daniels wears the same amiably blank expression that made Harry in Dumb and Dumber such an avatar of satanic malevolence. Is that what I mean?

There is so much to dislike here. Naming the two warring chieftains David and Evelyn (Naomi Watts autopilots as the latter) makes their rivalry sound like a drunken spat between a couple at a suburban dinner party. As in the first part, far too much time is spent explaining the mechanics of the dystopian universe (if you can remain interested in the new baloney about genetic engineering then your everyday life must be very dull indeed).

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Most annoying of all, however, the series continues to frustrate with its disingenuous argument for the importance of asserting individuality. No recent YA adaptation has been quite so obsessed with dividing its characters into cadres. Even the divergent are “Divergent”. This time we get yet another new division: that between “Perfect” and “Damaged”.

Can I declare for the “Bored Stiff”?

Donald Clarke

Donald Clarke

Donald Clarke, a contributor to The Irish Times, is Chief Film Correspondent and a regular columnist