Hello Peter, I’m overwhelmed that my email address won me ‘the sum of $500,000′

In a Word...Unsolicited: It is heartwarming to know so many people out there are thinking of me and ready to offer me unexpected financial gifts

Shanghai: Hello Peter, (are you one of the Chans in downtown Shanghai?) I’m overwhelmed that my email address won me “the sum of $500,000”. Photograph: Hector Retamal/AFP via Getty Images
Shanghai: Hello Peter, (are you one of the Chans in downtown Shanghai?) I’m overwhelmed that my email address won me “the sum of $500,000”. Photograph: Hector Retamal/AFP via Getty Images

Such a great start to 2025. Thank you, Daniel, for your “heartfelt gratitude” at the Parking Cupid Team in Australia’s, New South Wales. It is encouraging to know that my decision to park with you “contributes to a smarter, more sustainable future”.

There are those minor matters that I don’t drive and have never been to Australia, but that hardly matters between friends. It’s the thought that counts, as they say.

Dearest Alessia, (are your related to the Yang’s in downtown Shanghai?) Thank you for the good wishes and I’m grand, as we say here. For now, however, I’m not planning to transport goods “from or to China”.

Hello Peter, (are you one of the Chans in downtown Shanghai?) I’m overwhelmed that my email address won me “the sum of $500,000”. I’m simply astonished that, having been “randomly selected from a database of 90,000 international emails,” I “emerged as one of the 50 lucky winners”.

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You have no idea what this means. The only thing I have ever won in my life were two ceramic ducks at a school raffle decades ago and which still grace a family wall in Ballaghaderreen. But, with so much poverty in the world, I would feel guilty accepting that much money. Give it to charity.

Dr Mantigal. You’re too kind. Let me congratulate you on being head of the Department of Financial Auditing Sector Surveillance at the International Financial Office. (You do like capital letters!). It would have been helpful if you could say at which company or where this Office is located.

Still, I do not insist. It is remarkable that you discovered $35.5 million abandoned in a dormant account which could not be traced to any beneficiary, and you were wise to have moved those funds to a secure depository in London. I perfectly understand why this “demands strict confidentiality” and that no one outside your family is aware.

I’m therefore very honoured at your invitation to “participate in this venture.” But that sort of money would be life-changing for me and I really don’t want to change my life.

But thank you, and to all others who emailed me with their generous, if unsolicited, offers. It is heartwarming to know so many people out there are thinking of me.

Unsolicited, from Old English un+Latin solicitare, “to disturb, rouse, trouble, harass.”

inaword@irishtimes.com

Patsy McGarry

Patsy McGarry

Patsy McGarry is a contributor to The Irish Times