Woman secures order against husband who took ‘complete control’ of finances

Woman told Dublin District Family Court that she locks herself in her bedroom every day ‘so he doesn’t come near me’

The court heard a safety order is in place, whereby the woman’s husband is prohibited to use or threaten to use violence. Photograph: iStock
The court heard a safety order is in place, whereby the woman’s husband is prohibited to use or threaten to use violence. Photograph: iStock

A woman has secured a temporary barring order against her husband after she told a court he has taken complete control of the house’s finances and heating and threatened he would “leave me in the gutter”.

The woman told Dublin District Family Court on Thursday that she has had suicidal thoughts and locks herself in her bedroom every day “so he doesn’t come near me”.

The court heard a safety order is in place, whereby the woman’s husband is prohibited to use or threaten to use violence.

However, the woman said since the order was put in place last year “things are progressively getting worse” with name calling, threats of violence, “ridiculing on a daily basis” and that her husband turns off the heating despite her needing it on for an illness she has.

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“He has threatened me that he’s going to leave me in the gutter and that things are going to get very nasty from here ... He said an ambulance is going to be called,” the woman told the court.

“He puts his phone close to my face while screaming at me and towering over me ... I lock myself in the bedroom on a daily basis so he doesn’t come near me. I stood on top of a cliff yesterday because I can’t take any more of his toxic behaviour.”

The woman said the man had breached the safety order on a number of occasions and she had been to gardaí numerous times this week and that her husband had been arrested.

She also said her husband had agreed to go to anger management and counselling in the past but that he never attended.

“Yesterday was a really dark day for me and I had to drag myself here today,” the woman told the court.

She said she waits until her husband leaves the home to turn on the heating and that he does the food shop for the house but does not include her in it.

Judge Gerard Furlong granted the woman an interim barring order, which excludes her husband from the family home for eight days, and from watching or being near it.

A full hearing, which the woman’s husband is expected to attend, was set for a date later this month.

In a separate case, care workers told the court that an elderly man’s release from hospital was essentially being delayed due to concerns about him having to live with his adult son.

The court heard there were concerns from a community healthcare team regarding “financial abuse, emotional abuse and threats of physical abuse”.

The man is also “regularly” forced to give his son money and as a result “can’t afford to pay bills or buy food”, his care workers said.

They also said the man’s son takes his phone and he has “no way of contacting anyone in case of an emergency” and that he has been isolated from his family.

One of the care workers present said there was “an element of coercive control” as the man’s son has stopped family members and healthcare professionals from entering the home to support him.

She said a healthcare team could no longer enter the man’s home because of verbal abuse and threats of physical violence from his son.

Judge Furlong said he could not grant a barring order, which would remove the man’s son from the home, on the evidence that had been heard but would grant a protection order on an ex parte basis.

A protection order prohibits the man’s son from using or threatening to use violence. A full hearing, which the man’s son is expected to attend, was set for a later date.

The judge said he had sympathy for the man’s situation but had to be “fair”. He noted that there had never been a protection or safety order against the man’s son previously and that he had lived in the home for most of his life.

Judge Furlong said he would also include a special condition within the order that the man’s son was not to touch or interfere with his phone in any way.

Sarah Burns

Sarah Burns

Sarah Burns is a reporter for The Irish Times