The death of a colleague can come as a big shock to those they work with. Despite this, organisations often ignore its impact on co-workers mainly because workplace relationships are seen as less significant than those outside.
What this assumption misses is that many co-workers genuinely care about each other and if a colleague dies, their grief is real and needs to be acknowledged. This has been particularly difficult during the pandemic where normal grieving rituals have been disrupted and employees working remotely have not had their colleagues around them for moral support in the same way.
Death, and particularly death by suicide, is a topic organisations often run a mile from largely because they are unsure how to tackle it. Recognising their dilemma, the Irish Hospice Foundation has stepped up with a practical guide for employers on responding to suicide.
Grief in the Workplace provides tips on what to do if a business is affected by a suicide and how to respond to bereaved employees. There is also information about workplace bereavement training, how to develop a bereavement policy and a poignant step-by-step walk-through of how Pobal (a Government body that supports communities and local agencies) dealt with the loss of a colleague to suicide during the lockdown last year.
“Grief is never easy, and it is normal to feel uncomfortable around death. Yet, there are things that can be done that will make a real difference to employees bereaved by suicide,” says Breffni McGuinness, national bereavement development specialist for workplaces with the Irish Hospice Foundation.
“Providing support to staff who are bereaved is a key element of employee wellbeing, especially when the loss involves suicide and helping managers and colleagues to respond with humanity, compassion and competence are key steps. So too is having an appropriate bereavement policy and the guide offers help to put one in place.”
Mental health
More than 400 people die by suicide in Ireland every year and one in four will have a problem with their mental health at some point in their lives. In 2020, Pobal employee Ray Treacy died by suicide. His death was sudden, and his colleagues were devastated.
"Ray was a wonderful friend and colleague, a talented musician, an avid sports fan and a key member of the team," says Pobal CEO Anna Shakespeare. "Ray and I worked very closely together, and he was very open about having enduring mental health issues. Coming in to work every day was a huge part of his wellbeing support structure. Covid removed this as well as access to his other outlets and he spoke about 'the fog coming down'.
“The news of his death broke over a weekend in June and our initial reaction was one of shock and profound sadness. In the days that follow you inevitably go over and over things. You wonder was there something else you could have done – but ultimately you have to accept that this was Ray’s decision and respect it.”
Shakespeare says that coming to terms with the loss of their colleague has been very challenging. However, one of the practical steps the organisation has taken has been to train 60 managers as mental health first aiders. They are available to any of Pobal’s nearly 700 staff experiencing distress. Shakespeare says Pobal has also put renewed effort into creating a working environment that is tolerant, kind and supportive.
“Corporate culture needs to move beyond the stigma of mental health and employees should not feel they have to hide their mental health issues. Companies need be open and have the conversation,” she says.
Compassion
In 2018, the Irish Hospice Foundation surveyed more than 1,000 employees who had experienced bereavement and asked them what they would have appreciated most from their employer at the time. Three quarters said to be treated with compassion. This ranked ahead of extra leave and respecting their privacy.
“People respond very well to organisations that are courageous around bereavement and not afraid to address it,” says McGuinness. “Maybe start by asking a very simple question such as, ‘What would help you right now or how can I best support you?’ Some people will want to talk about it. Others will be more private. It’s really important to respond on an individual basis and as an organisation to have some awareness around the impact of a death on an employee or colleague. Grief doesn’t have a timeline. It takes a long time – a minimum of two years – to deal with, so what kind of supports will the organisation provide over that time?”
McGuinness adds that initiatives such as offering someone with a public-facing role the option of moving to the back office for a while, can be a big help.
“Where an employee’s loss is acknowledged and validated by the employer it’s hugely positive. If it’s ignored organisations can run into problems,” he says. “Any death is difficult, but specifically when it comes to suicide the important thing is to treat the employee as someone who has lost a loved one. The focus should not be on how they died. Suicide bereavement is often more intense, more challenging, more complex and more prolonged. People are left with the legacy of coping with their grief and we need it to be okay for it to be spoken about in an open and a healthy way in the workplace.”
