Ahern's criminal bill must be judged by a jury of his peersNEWTON'S OPTIC: DO WE need the Criminal Dermot (Jehovah) Bill? This column considers all sides of the argument now dominating…Wed Jul 15 2009 - 01:00
You'll need to install a new system to stop the fuse blowingNEWTON'S OPTIC: A RESPONSE to all striking electricians from the Irish middle class: Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dearWed Jul 08 2009 - 01:00
Moonwalking Jacksonmen wanna be startin' somethin'NEWTON'S OPTIC: THOUSANDS OF men in Northern Ireland will pay tribute to Michael Jackson next week by donning white gloves and…Wed Jul 01 2009 - 01:00
North's new Environment Minister takes advice from aboveNEWTON'S OPTIC: IN THE beginning, DUP Assembly member Edwin Poots was Stormont culture minister.Wed Jun 24 2009 - 01:00
Lisbon in legally blinding - sorry - binding detailNEWTON'S OPTIC: A bluffers’ guide to the assurances that will accompany ratificationWed Jun 17 2009 - 01:00
Seaside tide turns to the left as reds crawl outfrom under the bedNEWTON'S OPTIC: THE POLL-TOPPING performance by Trotskyite Richard Boyd Barrett in the Dún Laoghaire council election is only…Wed Jun 10 2009 - 01:00
Where is recognition for my people, the Ulster-English?NEWTON'S OPTIC: MINISTER FOR busy-bodies, boggers and hobbyists Éamon Ó Cuív has opened the country’s first Ulster-Scots Heritage…Wed Jun 03 2009 - 01:00
Real partnership is stopping anyone doing anythingNEWTON'S OPTIC: AS JUNIOR Minister for Integrated Development and Sustainable Communities, with special responsibility for Innovative…Wed May 13 2009 - 01:00
A blasphemy clause that does not fit the BillNEWTON'S OPTIC: TRUST THE chattering classes to overreact to Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern’s plan for a blasphemous libel…Wed May 06 2009 - 01:00
Pig flu not that bad? Sorry, we'll have to interrupt you thereNEWTON'S OPTIC: PRESENTER: WELCOME back to Flu News 24, your rolling pandemic channelWed Apr 29 2009 - 01:00
The state of our surviving junior ministersNEWTON'S OPTIC: ARE YOU worried about today’s junior minister downsizing? Could the issues that matter to you be left unrepresented…Wed Apr 22 2009 - 01:00
Alleged incitement to hatred of Portraitgate is terribly confusingNEWTON'S OPTIC: UNDER THE Prohibition of Incitement to Hatred Act, a hate-crime can only be directed “against a group of persons…Wed Apr 01 2009 - 01:00
Ireland could advance with the help of the US militaryNEWTON'S OPTIC: FINE GAEL MEP Jim Higgins has accused Libertas founder Declan Ganley, his challenger in June’s European election…Wed Mar 25 2009 - 00:00
Agreeing to agree and disagree is the answer to all our questionsNEWTON'S OPTIC: JOHN PLOUGHMAN: Good evening and welcome to this special last-ever edition of An RiposteWed Mar 18 2009 - 00:00
Of course we have a strategy for removing unwanted kittensNEWTON'S OPTIC: THE DROWNING of kittens in a bucket is to be regrettedWed Mar 11 2009 - 00:00
This is a Celtic Tiger robbery - do as we say and no one gets hurtNEWTON'S OPTIC: FREEZE! THIS is a Celtic Tiger robbery! We have your money tied up where the police will never find it, so do…Wed Mar 04 2009 - 00:00
Working women almost certainly caused the credit crunchNEWTON'S OPTIC: THE ANSWER to all our problems is staring us in the faceWed Feb 25 2009 - 00:00
You'd better shape up: sing your way out of a crisisNEWTON'S OPTIC: THE IRISH Times invites readers to sing along with the new hit musical 2016! Please note that this is an advance…Wed Feb 18 2009 - 00:00
The end of the world is nigh if CPSU goes on one-day strikeNEWTON's OPTIC: ENOUGH OF this reckless complacency over a possible one-day strike by the Civil Public and Services Union (CPSU…Wed Feb 11 2009 - 00:00
Why tax the little guys whose second home is their pension?NEWTON'S OPTIC: I DO hope that nice Mr Lenihan isn’t planning to raise the fee on second homesWed Feb 04 2009 - 00:00
Desperately seeking distinctive Irish quality of community spiritNEWTON'S OPTIC: The founding principles of the Irish Transport and General Workers Union (ITGWU) were "properly a true fit for…Wed Jan 07 2009 - 00:00
Fás farce would be in ha'penny place up NorthNEWTON'S OPTIC: BE OF good cheer, people of the South, for the Fás scandal is entirely to your creditThu Dec 04 2008 - 00:00
Inscrutable Cowen cringes at thought of new Chinese remediesNEWTON'S OPTIC : "We will be happy to invest in your country, Mr Brian," Premier Wen Jiabao announced, waving at the Taoiseach…Wed Oct 22 2008 - 01:00
Researchers find it difficult to put John Banville downNEWTONS' OPTIC: LITERARY EXPERIMENTS involving John Banville are cruel and pointless, according to the National Authors Rights…Wed Oct 15 2008 - 01:00
Godlike Minister could do so much more with his magic touchOPINION: CONJURING SOMETHING into existence merely by promising it exists is an almost supernatural powerWed Oct 08 2008 - 01:00
Cheer up - there's plenty of spare seats on the State's gravy trainNEWTON'S OPTIC: CRISIS? WHAT crisis? A quick trawl through the recruitment ads in public sector cyberspace reveals that all…Wed Sept 24 2008 - 01:00
On-the-spot fines for public drunkenness haven't a leg to stand onNEWTON'S OPTIC The vast majority of people will welcom Minister for Justice Dermot ahern's introduction of €100 on-the-spot …Wed Sept 17 2008 - 01:00
City manager Nero's advice is to call in well-greased hotshotsNEWTON'S OPTIC: Most consultancy firms claim to offer a "fire-fighting service" and there is no reason why this should not be…Wed Sept 10 2008 - 01:00
Just a heartbeat away from the biggest half-baked Alaskan nightmareNEWTON'S OPTIC: Commander in chief: "Madam President, we need your decision nowWed Sept 03 2008 - 01:00
How to keep universities free: take the budget airline approachNEWTON'S OPTIC : IN AN exclusive interview with the Irish Times , Michael Ryan of budget airline Leeryjet explains how he would…Wed Aug 20 2008 - 01:00
Cowen's way: 100 days in this vale of tears, treaties and tentsNEWTON'S OPTIC: As Brian Cowen marks 99 days in office, The Irish Times , reviews his progress so far before every other paper…Wed Aug 13 2008 - 01:00
Small firm wage warnings should be treated very seriouslyNEWTON'S OPTIC: IRELAND HAS "lost the plot" and must reduce the minimum wage, according to Patricia Callan, director of the …Wed Jul 23 2008 - 01:00
Twenty money-saving tips for these straitened Irish timesNEWTON'S OPTIC: Worried about the recession? Not sure where your next sundried tomato is coming from? The Irish Times presents…Wed Jul 16 2008 - 01:00
Care and concern in short supply as industrial action escalatesNEWTON'S OPTIC: THE PRIMARY function of the Department of Social and Family Affairs, according to its mission statement, is "…Wed Jun 18 2008 - 01:00
Everyone up in arms in the Irish Federal Republic after failing to ratify treatyNEWTON'S OPTIC: IRELAND CANNOT participate in our operations because it did not ratify the Lisbon Treaty back in 2008," said…Wed Jun 04 2008 - 01:00
Crafty Cowen's two Cabinets, with a miniature for each ministerNEWTON'S OPTIC: But it would be wrong to compare Brian Cowen to Hitler for appointing two overlapping arts ministersWed May 21 2008 - 01:00
Votes to blame for TD's trial in court of public opinionNEWTON'S OPTIC: I AM WRITING this letter in support of Kathleen Lynch, who is currently on trial in the court of public opinion…Wed Apr 23 2008 - 01:00
It's time to kick Rev Ian upstairs - Paisley for PresidentNEWTON'S OPTIC: AS THE DUP moves to oust Dr Ian Paisley, the question of his political future concerns all the people of the…Wed Feb 27 2008 - 00:00
Lack of Oranges leaves Sinn Féin sucking on a lemonNewton's Optic: Sinn Féin has blamed "a serious shortage of Protestants in the 26 counties" for its poor showing in last week…Thu May 31 2007 - 01:00
'We need inventive ways of using the Irish banking sector'Newton's Optic: Beyond parody In lieu of his usual column Newton Emerson this week offers the following excerpts from current…Thu Feb 24 2005 - 00:00
In which Bertie brings clarity to that Sinn Fein questionNewton's Optic: A group of people standing outside a tent pissing in will be asked to stand inside the tent and piss out, it…Thu Oct 21 2004 - 01:00
The hopeful signs that can destabilise the peace processThe time for constructive ambiguity may or may not be nearly over, reports Newton Emerson from Leeds CastleFri Sept 24 2004 - 01:00
Once upon a time there was a Caribbean island called Ansbacher ...In which Newton Emerson explores the semantic distinction between mugging and bank robberyThu Jun 03 2004 - 01:00
Teachers' survey makes for NASTI readingNewton Emerson finds himself unimpressed by the teachers' latest exercise in self-assessment. Could definitely do better.Thu Apr 08 2004 - 01:00
Leary lets fly....but comes a cropper in courtNewton Emerson takes a Learyjet flight of fantasy to Bruxelles Sud (price 20c with subsidy)Thu Feb 12 2004 - 00:00
Fan mail in the bunker as Saddam goes postalNewton Emerson has intercepted a touching correspondence which he brings to Irish Times readers.Thu Dec 18 2003 - 00:00
Reich to the heart of the Irish question"This proposal is absurd," pronounced Rommel, exasperatedThu Nov 20 2003 - 00:00
Collusion and double standardsLast Sunday the Ulster edition of the People reported an allegation that Seán Maguire, the convicted IRA attempted murderer and…Fri Aug 15 2003 - 01:00
