Of the many things Sergio Garcia has been accused of down the years, isn’t it mighty that self-awareness is still not among them? His few years knocking about on LIV Golf don’t appear to have changed him one iota. Praise be, he’s still the same spoiled, self-obsessed narcissist who left mainstream golf in 2022. Only now he has an extra $90 million or so in the bank.
As LIV crumbles, the past few weeks have seen a cavalcade of their big (and not so big) names announce they will be moving on with their lives and not taking up the option of staying on the now Saudi-bereft tour. For the most part, these announcements have been brief, understated and to the point. But that’s not how Sergio rolls.
“In golf, everything is earned and nothing is given,” Garcia posted on social media on Thursday. “Let’s get to work. #golf #grind #mentalhealth #goals.” Because nothing says, I’m Back, Bitches like a gym-wall word salad followed by the sort of hashtag blizzard the kids stopped using some time around 2013.
Everything is earned and nothing is given. Incredible. The absolute stones on the guy. Garcia, remember, is someone who jumped to LIV in 2022 with just one PGA Tour victory to his name in the five years since he’d won the Masters. His $40 million fee for merely signing up was only just shy of his total PGA Tour earnings for the previous two decades.
In effect, his move to LIV was a symbolic acceptance of the fact that he wasn’t good enough any more. He was very much moving on from the everything-is-earned portion of his career and settling into the 40-mill-is-given phase. And on one level, it was tempting to say more luck to him. A nice bag if you can get it.
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The thing with Sergio, though, is that he was never able to see the good in his own gilded existence. This is a guy who managed to fall out with Pádraig Harrington, of all people. Who famously reacted to a three-putt during a tournament one time by spitting into the hole, leaving a nice loogie-shaped present for the next player who had to reach in to get his ball. Who went crazy at Augusta earlier this year after a bad drive, tearing up the turf on the second tee and breaking his driver off a nearby bench.
At Augusta! And not even when he was in contention. It was Sunday morning, he was a million shots back, one of the first players out on the course. There was nothing on the line except a stroll around the one course in the world every golfer dreams of strolling around. Yet there he was, lashing out like a 13-year-old who’s been told he has to empty the dishwasher before he can go on his tablet. He had to get his apologising boots on fairly quickly after that one.
The Masters featured heavily in his comeback statement on Thursday too. “I left Augusta last year disappointed with myself and my actions, and I’m ready to show what I’ve learned and where I am mentally. Augusta has given me some of the greatest moments of my life, and I’d love nothing more than to chase another green jacket at such a special place.”
Interesting language there, you’ll notice. “I’d love nothing more than to chase…” Is there a chance he won’t be allowed to? As a former winner, Garcia is ostensibly entitled to keep returning every year to play in the Masters for as long as he so desires. Maybe it’s just woolly wording but that statement at least leaves open the possibility that he’s not certain he’ll get an invite.
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Which would, of course, be absurd. The old men of Augusta have welcomed former winner Angel Cabrera back despite him serving 20 months in prison for domestic assault, threats and harassment of not one but two former girlfriends. The idea that Cabrera would be free to play in the tournament but that Garcia might have to sit out a year for smashing his driver is surely too self-parodic even for Augusta. But stranger things have happened.
Things like a golfer leaving the DP World Tour with a locker-room outburst saying, “this tour is shit. You’re all f**ked. You should have taken the Saudi money…” and then, when said Saudi money runs out, waltzing back in saying: “Next season I’ll be playing on the DP World Tour. This tour has been a huge part of my career from the very beginning, and I’m proud to call it home again.”
Outstanding. Life imitating art. There’s no recorded evidence of Sergio being a Seinfeld devotee but fans of the show will recognise the classic George Costanza move – quitting his job in a blaze of glory one minute, breezing back in and pretending nothing has happened the next. Glorious stuff.
That said, you’d have to admit that the notices so far have not been kind. “This has to be Sergio trolling us?” said English pro Eddie Pepperell on X. “Surely. Elite level shithousery, this. Or has he got dementia?”
“To be clear, I think Sergio Garcia is still a wonderful player,” Pepperell followed up. “He was my favourite golfer growing up, ahead of Tiger. And I can see the value he still brings, ahead of me certainly. But his statement today shows a remarkable lack of self-awareness. Like, a stunning amount.”
Sergio gonna Sergio. And not before time. At a certain point with all the LIV stuff, once the gusher sportswashing of cash had done its job, one of the enduring annoyances for golf fans was that the scene had been robbed of pretty much all the villains and bastards and pains in the arse. It was all so nicey-nicey, so inoffensive, so golfy.
Nature, it seems, is healing.
